A small insight on regrets

In the past couple of days (again) my mind and heart were all about my mum, who passed nearly 3 years ago.
She was an incredible woman.
Intelligent, wise, beautiful, smartly funny, with an amazing sense of reading people’s character.
Seemed very much like someone who lived life on her own terms.
Still, she might have had some regrets. Won’t ever know, it is only me thinking, knowing some stories, family ins and outs … wouldn’t be a shocker if she did.
What I can know for fact is that she had a lot of adventure in her life, and she was like nobody else I ever knew.

And that got me to thinking about regrets.
What made me realize, how often in my coaching I meet with clients who have regrets, who carry regrets within them for a long time.
Then I remembered what I heard quite some time ago already, that doctors, nurses, care givers, family members have witnessed on countless occasions that those with fatal illnesses getting close to the end of their lives were open to share that they did have regrets.

Some of those most commonly heard ones are:
– wish they were brave enough to live their life as they would have wanted it, and not as others expected them to live it
– wish they hadn’t invested all that time into work, hadn’t worked so much
– wish they knew how to, had the courage to show their feelings
– wish they had taken better care of their friendships
– wish they had allowed, made themselves to be happier.

This is incredibly sad!
And I find it sad on more than one level.

Of course, it is most sad for those who got to the end of their lives, and only realized all this when they had no chance to change anything anymore.

Then I am sad for all those who live their life without realizing that they are going to have those regrets when their time comes.
Then for those who feel something is off in their lives, though yet they didn’t figure out what is that exactly.
Then for those who know, it would serve them best to change, but they dare not to, for whatever reason they accept for keeping themselves stuck.
Then for those who tried to change but let themselves influenced by others, and let themselves fall back into the unwanted patterns.

In today’s world there is a lot of help (coach, therapist, psychologist, … ) available for those who are serious about getting back to themselves, wanting to live from their authentic self and fully enjoy a happy life.

In case you recognise yourself as one building towards some regrets (or having some already), I wish you the courage to realise, your life is yours to live.
Your story is yours to write.
You have all the right in the world to be, live and do as you choose to.

Help is available when you feel that would support you to re-center.
Trust me, you don’t have to, you don’t need to do it alone.

My wish for you is not to grow regrets in your life; to turn around from the path that may lead you to have some; to make sure you won’t have more than you might already have.

As for my mum, I hope she didn’t have many regrets, that she really did enjoy a cool life and that wherever she may be now, she is regret free.
I miss you!