Duck or rabbit?

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Here we are at the end of another year.
Don’t know about you but I for sure can say it was a trying one.
And as I look around me, with certainty I can say there are many joining this sentiment about 2023.
Let it be relationships, personal life, professional settings, economy, whatever segment of life, most had it in multiple areas this year, as well as felt it on their own skin what politics was up to.

The other day I had a discussion with an intelligent, open minded world citizen.
Among many, we touched on this subject too.
As we talked we got to the point when we established that we live in a dualistic world.
There is right or wrong, good or bad, nice or ugly, right or left, traditionalist or modernist, men lead world or female lead world, etc.
And the core of many, if not all, of the problems is that people are conditioned to always take side and defend theirs through thick and thin.

Think about it!
When in school, in a generally poor educational system, kids are pressured to study things word by word, not to ask questions but take things they hear from their teachers or read in their books as facts.
Then getting into the workforce where yet most employer are authoritarian, telling to employees to basically shut up and do as told, do not question the higher ups.
All these experiences of course filter into people’s private life, into their friendships, relationships and are very lucky if they didn’t experience such attitude already since their birth from their family too.

One is pressured to decide and stand by one or the other side in mostly everything.

Even Christmas food is in this category: panettone or pandoro, turkey or ham, Yorkshire pudding or mashed potatoes, fish or stuffed cabbage, meat or seafood, and this list is endless too😊

The believers, the committed ones of whichever side are constantly generating, fueling the arguments, disagreements, violent actions.
And I am not even talking about the extremists of any kind, as they make a very different category.

What could be a solution?
Allowing.

How about we allow the other person to say, to believe in, to live by whatever one chooses.
As long as it is not harmful to others.

Let’s be honest:
– if one is religious and the other isn’t that is not hurting either of them, they still could have an intelligent conversation, could be asking one another what makes them believe whatever they believe. They could learn from each other, they both could widen their worldviews
– if one is a left and the other is a right side voter that is not hurting either of them, they still could have an interesting conversation, could be asking one another what makes them vote as they do. They could learn from each other, they both could widen their worldviews
– if one is taking a side (in any subject) and the other sees pluses and minuses on both sides and is not ready, nor willing to take any of the sides, that is not hurting either of them, they still could have an exciting conversation, could be asking one another what makes them to form whatever opinion. They could learn from each other, they both could widen their worldviews.
– and if one is strictly a ham and the other is a turkey person, the same applies. No harm is done.

With all that we arrived to the over 100 years old question, duck or rabbit!?
‘Thomas Kuhn used the rabbit–duck illusion as a metaphor for revolutionary change in science, illustrating the way in which a paradigm shift could cause one to see the same information in an entirely different way.’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit%E2%80%93duck_illusion
‘The duck/rabbit image is one of the most famous in philosophy, and it highlights a curious phenomenon called “aspect perception.” The philosopher Wittgenstein argued that objects often do not simply appear to our senses, but are “seen as” something. They arrive meaningfully in our understanding.’ https://bigthink.com/thinking/wittgenstein-duck-rabbit/

That drawing, simply said, is an optical illusion showing that it only depends on your perspective whether you see one or the other when you look at the picture.
It is a very simple tool to make everyone realize, that two, or even more things can be true, can be right at the same time.
Views only may differ due to perspective!

So the very simple and highly effective solution in any and all questions/subjects can be if we ALLOW each other to be, to think, to believe as each want to.

Be open, be curious, don’t let yourself be fooled, nor pressured.
And with all that, I wish you a healthy, happy, abundant, loving, allowing New Year!
A happy 2024 to all!

When the puzzle falls apart

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There are times in life when you find yourself in situations where you have no idea how did you get there, why did you get there.
There are times in life when you have no idea what you should be doing, in which direction should you be going, what could be your next best move.
There are times in life when someone asks you what’s going on with you, and you answer: nothing. Only that nothing includes so many not so significant bits, that you wouldn’t even know where to start if you wanted to list everything.

Possibly you had experienced such feelings already.

Yes, this was my summer, my past nearly 5 months of 2023 … and it was not the first time in my life for this to happen either.

This time it went like this:
I had an idea that I entertained for a while, got a boost about it through an intuition, so made it into a plan, moved along working on it to bring it to life (called, asked, discussed, planned, scheduled, worked out the details, …), everything was coming together smoothly, all seemed like the Universe had laid out the red carpet.
In the process I had packed up my life (the travelling circus, as I call it), moved away 2.000 kilometres to another Country where I was supposed to carry out the project.

All seemed like the Universe had laid out the red carpet … until it didn’t!

Since about a week after my arrival it had all fell through completely and I found myself with no project.
That meant that the income I planned with was not happening, the accommodation that was tied with the project is not there anymore, so basically my being in the Country became a question of what the heck am I even doing there.

After the initial complete confusion, eventually I remembered a sentence from Soren Kierkegaard: ‘Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.’
And as this statement had proved to be true over and over again in my life already, I let life flow as it wanted to, and move forward somehow.

Now, that nearly 5 months had passed, I looked back and started to see things why I needed to get where I am at.
In this time I faced situations that made me realize that I had some more things and people in my life what and whom I needed to let go of. It was somewhat surprising, some of it deeply painful but as I have been working on my letting go muscles a lot in the past 4,5 years, it was not overly difficult, so it is already done.
Had the chance to meet some people in person whom before this summer I only knew through voice and video calls and those meetings were great.
Wanted some more tattoos and I am lucky that the artist I wanted to do them could fit me into his busy schedule after me becoming time abundant.
Had the pleasure of experiencing some amazing body works of different modalities, one of them even helped me to get rid of my cat and dog hair allergies.
Got into a couple of situations that I can’t explain otherwise than the Universe put me there and then, and had me do what it wanted me to do.

And I experienced some completely unexpected kindness, openness, care and love too.

So yes. None of it went as planned, none of it was in my calendar, none had to do anything with my original coming here, yet I learned, I adjusted, I cried, I laughed, I worked, I bitched, I lived, and ultimately I got grateful for it all.

No, my plans are not clear as of what is next.
Yes, I have some ideas.
No, I have nothing set in stone.
Yes, I am open and curious to see how things unfold.
No, I didn’t write this for you to feel sorry for me, or be concerned with me and my life.

Yes, I wrote it to tell you, if you ever face any unforeseen changes, uncertainty, pain or feeling of being lost in life, try to be open to the option that the Universe (God, angels, fate, life, whatever you believe in) has greater, bigger, better plans for you than those what you had in mind, and all will unfold if you let it, and that you can and you will come out stronger of whatever you are going through, and all have a meaning in the end.

And yes, I urge you to believe that the best of it is still ahead of you!

Also, I know way too well that such inspirational words sometimes have the effect of ‘yeah, I heard it all already; yeah, I know, I am sick of it; I need something ‘real’’.

I hear you!
Been through that too.

All I can tell you is that when all tangible feels like falling apart around you, when your logical brain can’t make any sense of anything that are happing around you, that is the time when you must have faith the most.

Faith in yourself that you are able to get through it all;
faith in that at some point in the future when looking back, all will make sense;
faith in whatever you believe in, that there are ‘helpers’ out there who are watching out for you;
faith in that change is the only constant component of life, so whatever situation you might find yourself in, will change;
faith in that you will be okay.

Breathe.
Take one step at a time.
You’ve got this.
I believe in you!

Your fucking truth

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Although I always have a lot what I want to say, to write, somehow today I just couldn’t come up with the right words.
Kept trying, wrote something, then something else but I didn’t like any of them.
In my upsetness with myself I started to roam around the internet.
And suddenly, this popped up in front of me.

Read it.
And I was like, YES, this is it.
This is what I am saying, trying to get across to all who would listen.
This is all what everything is about.
Simply perfect.
I have nothing to add, nothing to explain.
Amazingly written, raw, real, authentic, dare I say, life changing piece.
Just read it:

 

TELL YOUR FUCKING TRUTH
by Jeff Foster  https://www.lifewithoutacentre.com/

I have seen miracles happen, when people just tell the truth.

Not the ‘nice’ truth.
Not the truth that seeks to please or comfort.
But the wild truth. The feral truth.
The inconvenient truth.
The tantric truth. The ‘fucking’ truth.

The truth you’re afraid to tell.
The horrible truth about yourself
that you hide in order to ‘protect’ others.
To avoid being ‘too much’.
To avoid being shamed and rejected.
To avoid being seen.

The truth of your deepest feelings:
The rage you have been concealing, controlling, pasting over.
The terrors you do not want to speak.
The sexual urges you’ve been trying to numb.
The primal longings you cannot bear to articulate.

Finally, the defences break down,
and this ‘unsafe’ material emerges
from deep within the unconscious.
You can’t hold it back anymore.
The image of the ‘good boy’ or ‘nice girl’ evaporates.
The ‘perfect one’, the ‘one who has it all figured out’,
the ‘evolved one’, these images burn.

You tremble, you sweat, you come close to vomiting,
you think you might die doing it,
but finally you tell the fucking truth,
the truth you are deeply ashamed of.

Not the abstract truth. Not the ‘spiritual’ truth.
Not a carefully-worded truth designed to prevent offence.
Not a neatly-packaged truth.
But a messy, fiery, sloppy human truth.
A bloody, passionate, provocative, sensual,
untamed and unvarnished mortal truth.
A shaky, sticky, sweaty, vulnerable truth.

The truth of how you feel.
The truth that lets another person see you in the raw.
The truth that makes one gasp.
The truth that makes your heart pound.

This is the truth that will set you free.

I have seen chronic depressions and life-long anxieties lift overnight.
I have seen deeply embedded traumas evaporate.
I have seen fibromyalgia, life-long migraines, chronic fatigue, unbearable back pain, bodily tension, stomach disorders, vanish, never to return.

Of course, the ‘side-effects’ of truth aren’t always this dramatic.
And we don’t step into our truth with a result in mind.
But think of the massive amounts of energy it must take
to repress our animal wildness,
numb our feral nature,
suppress our rage, tears and terror,
uphold a false image, and pretend to be ‘okay’.
Think of all the tension we hold in the body,
and the damage it does to our immune systems,
when we live in fear of ‘coming out’.

Take the risk of telling your truth.
The truth you are afraid to tell.
The truth you fear will make the world run.
Find a safe person – a friend, a therapist, a counsellor, yourself –
and let them in. Let them hold you as you break down.
Let them love on you
as you weep, rage, quake with fear,
and generally make a mess.

Tell your fucking truth to someone – it might just save your life, heal you from deep within, and connect you to humanity in ways you never imagined.

They don’t care …

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Since it’s still January, and the energies only recently are turning completely into the “new momentum” of 2023 (and because there is a lot of negative, shitty, depressing news and happenings coming at us from the world), I feel that a rougher “I’ll help you sort yourself out” type of writing wants to be here.

Buckle your seatbelts!

I am not interested in the so-called big politics, I am not interested in the few “dark knights” who supposedly are ruling the world, I am not interested in the world economy … on the level, that all kinds of, for a good amount of money turned into ass-licker, media serve it to us, “average people”.
I am not interested, because I’ve known for some time that many things have nothing to do with reality, that a large percentage of them are bent along certain interests, and that the truth, the complete truth, is damn hard to find out, if it’s ever possible at all.

In this I got my first lesson when I was still working in film production.
Fact, that was the deciding moment about the tabloid category I knew “well, I won’t believe a word they say in the future”.

It just so happened that an article was published in which an actor was torn to shreds about what he did some nights earlier.
The “only” problem was that that actor filmed with us on that ominous evening described in the article, hundreds of kilometers away from the location indicated in the article.
As it turned out, that piece was also part of a campaign trying to discredit that actor.

This is where this process started for me.

Then it continued when I worked in tourism.
Somehow I learned that there are awards and recognitions that almost anyone can win, it’s all just a matter of money and “bribe” and “venality”.

Then, when I was already active as a coach, I noticed that there are widely known people who call themselves coaches and motivational speakers, who, without batting an eye, use materials, make statements, express thoughts, but just “forget” to mark and mention their origin.

For the “perpetrators” in all 3 mentioned categories it still works today … because of you.
Because of the average person.
After all, the tabloids sell to you; in tourism, these companies show their awards to you, to make themselves more attractive to you; and “coaches” and “motivational speakers” also profit from you with their unoriginal, stolen materials that are used without indicating the source.

How is all this possible?
That you don’t ask, you don’t check, you just “eat” what they put in front of you.

And this is exactly why big politics, the world economy, and the “dark knights” or anyone can feed/sell anything to the masses.

Well, and as unpleasant as it sounds, it starts with you.

How?
In the way that you were taught that superiors cannot be questioned.
That old people should be respected.
That x is something you have to believe in, to be considered as a good person.
That you are a “real” man if you work yourself half dead and provide for your family and don’t show your emotions.
That you are a “real” woman if you give birth, excel in washing, cooking, cleaning and put everyone before yourself.
I won’t continue, I think you feel it.

Against all these:
Why wouldn’t the superiors be asked? When and how did they become infallible?
Just because someone is old doesn’t mean they deserve respect.
A few hundred or a few thousand kilometers away, something else is considered to be the definition of a good person.
“Real” is not an adjective that can be defined socially as a whole, but can only and exclusively be given by the partner, so this adjective has (also) infinite interpretations.

So that you wouldn’t need to fight every day with who is covering you with what, be it the media or any social network, you have to whip yourself, your life into shape.
In order to be able to live what and how you really want, first you need to know yourself, to know who you really are, what you want, what things and values are important to you.
And you also need to know: we are not the same and that is wonderful. So you don’t have to become anything if you don’t feel that as your identity. You do the best for yourself and for the world, when you are your authentic self.

And I shouldn’t even ask, if media workers can lie without batting an eye, if companies can buy themselves certain recognitions, if those who award them can be corrupted, if coaches and motivational speakers can reach the masses with plagiarized material, then why shouldn’t lie the stars off of the sky the politicians, those who manage the world economy, the “dark knights”?

I don’t think this current “order” from the top down will ever change for the better.
However, I do believe that if more and more of us, the “average people” understand,
that everyone has the right to live their own life as they wish (as long as it does not cause any harm to others),
that we cannot take out our frustrations about our own lives on others,
that if we do not erase, rewrite certain parts of our history, but face them and learn from them,
if we try not to do anything to others that we would hate to happen to us,
if we tried to help each other more, support each other better,
if allowing, understanding, care and love would rule the critical mass,
then we can achieve that there are no people in politics and on social networks who shout the opposite of all these for their own personal (usually purely material) interests.

It could be a much better, more liveable, significantly more harmonious, happier place, all it takes, is that we don’t wait for the “big guys”, always for someone else to do something!?!
We should do it!
The “average people”, the you and the me.

PS: In 1991 and 1995 Michael Jackson already sang all this … it would be time to act …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWf-eARnf6U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNJL6nfu__Q

New Year’s Resolutions – or?

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So here we are, in 2023.
A new year with new energies, new possibilities, new hopes and aims.
And for many, January 1st means new year’s resolutions.

First of all, let me say, nothing is wrong with new year’s resolutions … IF …

OK, so are you one of those who make them? Do they usually work out for you? Do they give you the feeling of success, accomplishment, joy when at the end of the year you look back and see what and how you did with them? When your answer is yes, then congratulations!
These resolutions seem to work for you as great motivators and guides.
Great job, cool routine, keep on making them and follow them through!
Good on you through and through.

Likely the rest what follows here is not for you.

It is for you, who is not in the above category, but you still make them, still give them a go year after year.

And now about that IF I wrote above.

In case you are one who makes those resolutions and generally you do not keep them, they do not work out for you and that makes you sad, upset, angry, talking down on yourself, feeling of unworthiness and alike, I have a question for you: what makes you go through the same/very similar process year after year?

Is it a tradition in your family? This is what you were told you were supposed to do? You do it because your friend/partner is doing it? Because you want to achieve certain things and you feel you need a starting point?

Whatever is the case, the bottom line is, if this system brings you more negative emotions than positive ones, then you simply just need to drop this ‘custom’.

Let’s dive in a bit.
Resolutions are basically goals.
They can be about anything, health, wellbeing, relationships, finances, work, whatever really.
Only because they are tied to the beginning of the year, they got this fancy title of new year’s resolutions.
The fact though is, that goal setting does not require a specific date.
It can be that you wake up on a gloomy Tuesday morning in March and realize, your coffee intake is over the roof and probably that is (one of) the reason why your sleep is not that peaceful, recharging, and perfect as you wish it to be. So immediately you can take action and have 1 or 2 coffees less already that day, give yourself a timeframe of two weeks and see what this change brings you. Falling asleep easier, sleeping better, getting up with more energy? Superb! You can decide to continue with having less coffee and enjoy your sleep more.
Or, if it doesn’t give you any benefit, only you feel even more crazy as you are missing those coffees, you can add them back and can start looking for other options to get a better sleep.

And this is how it works with any kind of a goal.
Set it, test it, do it, timeframes may vary, evaluate, decide accordingly whether to continue with that specific action or drop it.

Now opposed to this, stands the new year’s resolution where many go overboard.
They make a long list and make each of them on the list really big.
Like this is the year when I start going to the gym and will lose x amount of weight, get a body ready for a fitness competition and all that by December 31st – great idea, but if you haven’t done any exercises in ages (or ever), haven’t done your research to see who, where offers what, who, where can support you how, haven’t figured out your (real) reasons behind why you are out of shape, carrying extra weight, how you will be able to fit a new routine into your schedule, then it is quite likely that by the end of January you throw in the towel.
It is (generally) exactly the same story with any kind of a new year’s resolutions.
They are big, ambitious, emotionally charged, often impulsive and kind of repetitive from year after year as they never get carried out, fulfilled.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

You can drop this whole concept and do it all on your terms.

Every day is a new starting point. It doesn’t matter what date is stamped on that day.
Whenever something comes up that you want to do for yourself, your family, your community, just think it over, write it out, set that goal and go for it.

By the way, when you are like me and dislike the word goal and/or resolution, you don’t need to use them.
Call them your dreams, visions, ideas, baby beans, whatever you want to call them.
It’s not the title, it’s the actions around them that counts.

And I want you to know from the very beginning of your next ‘baby bean planting’, not all of them can be done, not all will happen, and not all will happen as you want it, when you want it.
It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you!
It only means that life sometimes takes us to different directions, with a different time schedule.

So, the IF is that it only is a good idea, when you feel good about it, when it brings you positive feelings, when it helps you feel better.

Find and get in the flow, welcome the changes, stay true to yourself and chase your dreams, regardless!

A wish list from me to you

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Happiness
Health
Love
Wealth
Success
Beauty
Motivation
Connections
Soulfulness
Courage
Positivity
Fabulousness
Magic
Healing
Kindness
Empowerment
Peace
Laughter
Tolerance
Dreams
Enthusiasm
Fun
Abundance
Optimism
Intimacy
Balance
Ecstasy
Genuity
Inspiration
Resilience
Authenticity
Passion
Wisdom

And here are two songs in case you need a mood uplift.
Both can be listened to at any time – although one of them is Christmas themed – as what they say is valid all year round, in any situation.
You do deserve it all and you are able to fight for yourself!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7lqYSD22jw 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc

Merry Everything, Happy Always!

The holiday / pain season

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It is December, the so-called jolliest month of the year.
TV channels, the Internet, radio stations are showing, broadcasting endless Christmas movies, music, ads, related tear-jerking stories, and charity events, the shops, restaurants, bars, villages and cities are fully decorated … there is no way one could not realize that the countdown is on.
Christmas is pouring onto everyone from every possible and even sometimes impossible angle.

So, no wonder that a few days ago, I made the mistake of watching some Christmas movies.
Oh boy!

About 20 minutes into it I was sad, then angry, and by the end of it I was fuming.
My curiosity made me watch a few more films to check whether it was only a one-off occurrence.
As a result, I can say that by the look of it, many creative and production people just are, or with time got careless, insensitive, and clueless of present days’ mental health issues.

In the first show I watched, a woman is going home for Christmas after a breakup, planning for a relaxing, do nothing, high in self-care kind of a stay. In the very minute she gets to the front door of her parents’ house the mental abuse, the pressuring, the aggressive you must fit in kind of bullshit starts. Not only from her very own parents but from every member of the neighbourhood too.
In the next one, she gets dumped by her boyfriend by an awfully obnoxious speech from him, then just before Christmas they accidently meet again and he behaves as a master asshole, assuming her not saying much (actually due to her shock) means a yes and so he starts planning their lives together, tries to make a pass at her (and of another girl from town too), repeatedly, all together acting like a horny, arrogant, perfect example of toxic masculinity.
In another one a complete failure of communication and excess amount of assumptions are messing up the main characters’ lives.
Yet in another one a mother/manager is pushing her daughter to do and be as she sees it best, mainly for fame and money, ignoring the grown up daughter’s clearly expressed wishes.

That is how much I could take, and unfortunately, it all made me certain, that this is a tendency, present in many movies.
In movies that have a huge, often bigger than healthy, influence on people.

When one is curling up for some relaxing and is looking forward to some light-hearted, romantic, Christmassy holiday fun, the last thing one needs is anyone pushing their face into all that crap that they may fight all year round.
Being pushed, pressured, not listened to, getting mentally abused, belittled, harassed, constantly questioned about life choices are serious, real-life issues that millions are struggling with on a daily basis.
These are issues, in my opinion, that have no place in any fun, holiday movies.

For you all, who maybe wrestling with any of the mentioned issues, please know, you are good, not broken, you have all the right to be who and how you want to be and that nobody, no family close or far, no partner, no kid, no neighbour, no boss, no colleague, no politician, no ‘society’, simply no one has the right to tell you otherwise.
Also know, that asking for and using help is an absolutely brave and in many situations, a lifesaver thing to do. Reach out to someone you feel you can trust. Please!

And as for this holiday, or for any other one ever, you have all the right to keep yourself away from people, gatherings and/or situations that you feel are stressing you out, where you feel, you might need to give yourself up in order to fit in.

Also, let’s not forget those countless number of people who, for various reasons, do not like it or even get sad around this time of the year.
The reasons are irrelevant for others, unless the person is ready to share those but just to give an idea, among them are those who simply don’t care for Christmas, those who associate it with some bad memories, like a breakup, losing a job/house/livelihood, the passing of a loved one, a childhood trauma, or are feeling lonelier than at any other time of the year, whatever.
All those feelings are valid!
Again, no one has the right to invalidate anyone for feeling differently from them.
One of the craziest and actually the most hurtful what you can say to such a person is ‘Come on, but it’s Christmas’. Their answer will be ‘Exactly!’.

So, all I wish for Christmas and for any holidays in general, that go, celebrate as you would want to and let others do as they would want to.
Go crazy with decorations, do all the related activities, celebrate at large, at home, away from home, alone or with others, or don’t celebrate at all, or anything in between, are all right.
Your way is not better or worse, only different.

Be kind, be understanding, allow people to be, spread love.
And if you for whatever reason are not able to do these, then just shut the fuck up and leave people be.

Toxic influences

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November 19th is International Men’s Day.
Did you celebrate it? Did you buy gifts to the important men in your life?
Did you let them know that you are proud of them, that you love them, that you think of them?

No?
You were not even aware that this day exists?
Or you were but you thought it is nothing special nor important?

Whichever is the case, it clearly shows double standards.

Why?

For one, because it is ‘observed by’ 58 Countries, opposed to International Women’s Day that is ‘observed by’ worldwide.
And second, because if you are not greeted, celebrated on International Women’s Day, at least with some flowers, then you get upset, feel down, moan about it or what not.

Bear with me, no, it is not a post to bash women, nor men.
Quite the opposite.

It is about a tendency that is present in our lives, that is going strong on all social media platforms, and it is clearly toxic.

What am I talking about?

What I am talking about is women working on becoming equal in their rights to men with all the wrong tools and attitude.
Not like feminism at its best:
‘Feminism, that is the belief and advocacy of the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Feminism incorporates the position that society prioritizes the male point of view and that women are treated unjustly in these societies. Efforts to change this include fighting against gender stereotypes and establishing educational, professional, and interpersonal opportunities and outcomes for women that are equal to those for men.’

And it is something that I stand behind 100%.
Women and men (and any other human gender in between) are equal.
Without one or the other gender the world would cease to exist as we know it.

What I can’t stand behind at all is the above-mentioned tendency.
That is when women are trying to lift up other women by talking down, belittling men, when they preach how women are better than men, when they preach that a man showing his feelings is weak, that a man who cries is a pussy.
Basically, doing exactly the same than the man who are labelled (rightfully) toxic.

While at the same time other women are upset, that they can’t connect to men as they are closed off, have (show) no emotions.
While worldwide statistics show that the number of men committing suicide is about the double of the number of women.

Yes, I am absolutely aware that throughout history at most part of the world at most of the time men had all the power and women were oppressed.
Yes, I am totally aware that it is still so at some part of the world today too.
Yes, I agree it must change.
Yes, I support those changes.

BUT

No, I can’t support looking down on men of today for the mistakes and sins done by their predecessors.
No, I don’t find it helpful that because of those men still working on keeping an upper hand over women one would generalize and talk shit on all men.
No, I don’t agree that if now women got to become the leading gender that would do only good.
No, I am absolutely against raising any gender above the other.

Yes, ladies, do learn to be secure in who you are, to not let anyone tell you how to look, how to dress, what to learn, what type of job to do.
Yes, ladies, please know, you do have all the rights over your body, dare to stand up for yourselves against anyone saying otherwise.
Yes, you can choose how you want to lead your life, what do you want, and what do you don’t want in it.

BUT

No, your security in yourself can’t stem from kicking men in general.
No, your fighting for your rights can’t bring a positive outcome when in return you suggest taking some rights away from men.
No, you realising and cherishing your rights to choose for yourself the life you want, can’t mean that you do the exact same towards men as men were doing throughout history towards women.

You see, the reality is that there are just as many toxic women around as toxic men.
Those women, who always find fault not only in men but in another women too, those who are always ready to criticize others for how they raise their kids, for how and what they cook or bake, for what they find important in life and what they don’t, for why they work, for they don’t work, for why they lost the baby weight pretty fast after birth, for why they didn’t lose it after x amount of time, for why they invest in their own self-development, for why they don’t, for why they start their own business, for why they don’t, for why they don’t have kids, for why they have 5, for how they dare to wear that outfit, for why they are not more brave, for why they wear make-up, for why they don’t, for why they have tattoos, for why they don’t, … their finding something to criticize in women and in men is endless.

Let’s face it, toxic masculinity is out there and by now we have toxic femininity too, which is just as harmful.
It instead of helping towards solutions, only makes more problems, more pain.

There is one thing you must understand, when a woman, a man, an alien, whomever criticizes you without even knowing you, knowing your whole story, it means nothing!
Those creatures only reflect their frustrations onto you.

So please, when you have, do, choose, decide whatever for yourself, don’t do it by criticizing, putting someone (men) else down.
No need for that.
No benefit in that.

Once we all realise that there is only one difference between people, and that is not their gender, religion, skin colour, or anything else but it is whether they are good or bad people, then we can build a world to be a happy place for all of us.

Equality, partnership, human rights are for all to understand and have.
That is, what can lead to a happy, loving, balanced life to everyone.

The power of balance

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On the Northern Hemisphere autumn is in, what means shorter days, less sunshine and a fast-approaching winter.

Nature, the only perfect design on Earth, knows what it is doing.
Fauna and flora are preparing.
Squirrels are stocking up on nuts, bears are making their caves comfortable, fishes are finding the best spots in the bottom of bodies of water, trees are letting their leaves fall, all are preparing for the cold weather.
For nature it is obvious that it needs some rest, regeneration, and growth in order to flourish.
It knows that all needs and takes time.
For it is no question that life is about balance and circles.

On the other hand humans, who nowadays live in the so called civilized world, who once upon a time understood the laws of nature and lived by them, in harmony with them – unlike all indigenous nations who are still living so –, by now are completely ignoring them.
Let themselves fall into the trap of endlessly chasing success and results, keep themselves under constant performance pressure, married to stress, more and bigger is always the aim, nothing is enough, nothing is good enough, balance became a ‘spiritual woo-woo’ concept.
All that resulted in enormous number of people suffering from anxiety, depression and other mental health issues, millions are unhappy, countless are in survival mode instead of living.
And we call this the civilized world – how funny and arrogant.

You can fight it, you can disagree with it, you can deny it, can come up with all the excuses and counterarguments, can say it is cliché;
none will change the truth of the matter, that balance is a must for a fully lived life.

No one has a long, happy and healthy life being constantly on.
Medical statistics clearly show that heart attacks, strokes, high blood pressure, cancer and so on, all are consequences of an overstressed lifestyle.
And that means both professional as well as private life.
Not only you have to have days off of work on a fairly regular schedule, when you are truly off, without calls, emails and the like but you have to have some time off of your usual routinely private life too.
Humans perform best when they give themselves time to rest, regenerate and grow, exactly as nature is doing it.

Especially nowadays, when in the ‘civilised’ world we are all exposed to a non-stop flow of information and impulses both online and off, our mind, heart and soul NEED some breaks.

Everyone must find that hobby, that activity, that sport, that whatever, that one is happy to indulge in, and is able and is doing without any kind of pressure.
Nothing that one does competitively will help as that is also stress on the human system.

Reading to get lost in different worlds, knitting for the sake of knitting, doing photography with the only intension of recording something for the future, listening to or making music to let it take you to another headspace, playing games for the sake of being together and connecting, gardening for its beauty, doing some DIY things for the enjoyment of the process and the final product, doing any kind of sports for its excitement, for the joy of spending time with the team mates or fellow sportsmen, connecting to nature by sitting on a seaside and watching a sunrise or sunset, going for walks, hikes, runs for to simply clear the mind and be with self and nature, these all can help to find balance.

On and off, fighting and relaxing, feeling sad and feeling happy, being emotional and being logical, keep on enduring and changing directions, physical and spiritual … they all are components of life.
There is no universal way to reach balance, for each it is different how to get there and be in that state when body, mind and soul are healthy, joyous and full of life.

If you haven’t yet, I urge you to set out to find your own way.
When you may be too far in the opposite direction, when you have no clue where and how to start, look for and use help.
It is always a profitable investment.
It worth all the effort, as finding and being in balance will benefit you in leading a happy, enjoyable, healthy, loving life.

It is a rewarding achievement.

Everything is energy

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Everything is energy.
It is science, it is fact.

It was expressed by Nikola Tesla as well as Albert Einstein and when it comes to science, they are kinda reliable sources 😉

On many different level spirituality is speaking about energy too.
Like right now a very intense happening is on; from the 26th of July till the 12th of August there is a strong energy movement, and its peak is today, the 8th of August, the pinnacle of the opening of the Lion’s Gate portal.
(When interested in details, he explains it well, I think https://www.facebook.com/ArcturianCodes )

Everything is energy, so it means so is nature, us, and every connection we have are also energetically charged, have a vibration.

Surely you heard of people (if you are not one of them) who are affected by the moon’s cycles, like their sleep is messed up at every full moon, or those who claim all their worries and wrinkles smooth out as soon as they are by the sea, or those who love walking in the rain as that always makes them feel better.

When it comes to people, again, you surely heard of, or might personally came across some after meeting with whom you always feel drained, or the exact opposite, happy and recharged, or when with them, you feel some unexplainable nervousness and so on.

We are influenced by energy coming from nature, animals, from other people and we are influencing others with our energies too, of course

Whenever you are experiencing any issues, arguments, negativity towards you, one thing you can do is to check your own energy.
What are you radiating?
Can that be a reflection of yours, coming back to you?
Maybe you need to shift a bit towards a calmer, more positive state.

No, I am not suggesting ‘hurray-optimism’, no I am not suggesting denying any real, own feelings and energies.

What I am suggesting is to check in with yourself if what you are radiating in that moment is really yours or you might have picked it up from somebody/something else and you are rolling with that.

Like when you are cranky, negative, angry, is it really because you are feeling so, or is that ‘stuck’ on you from a previous interaction and now you are coming from that energy and so are messing some more up around you.

You see, it is like a rolling ball.

When can go out into the world with a light, happy, calm energy, likely that people you come in contact with will be feeding from your positive energy, you will be meeting others on a similar energy level as you are on, or even on a higher one.

When, on the other hand, you realize that whatever good mood you are in, certain people always bring you down … well, the simple cure for that is to avoid contact with such people.

Yes, if you are in a close, meaningful relation to such a person, you always can invite them to talk, ask what is going on in their head, in their soul. They might will be gladly jumping on the opportunity and share with you what is their story, but it is also possible they are not even aware of them being such a dark cloud.

When in a relationship, it pays off being aware of self too.

It does make life more easy, it makes it more authentic and more smooth of a ride.

When you connect, communicate, love, have sex while you are radiating your own energies, your own feelings, your real self, it all gets on a higher level of amazing.

By all means on every level it worth the work having your energies cleaned, of being aware, of knowing of and protecting your high vibrating, light energy.

Be kind, keep on loving, vibe high!