Letting your mind wander

/in , , , , , /by

Last week I spent by the sea.
Needed some change of scenery, some time to see things from a different angle, some time to re/evaluate matters and situations, time to just be.
Sitting on the shore, staring at the water is all it takes for me to get lost in thoughts.
Surely, I am not alone with this.
Of course, it can happen anywhere really, just a personal preference, so for some it might be being in a forest, at the mountains, in their own garden or soaking in a lovely, warm bath in their bathroom. Whatever does the trick.
The common ground is that we all need these times, we all need to be alone sometimes to completely and fully get lost in the web of the hidden parts of our own mind and soul.

Sometimes we spin off of questions that bug us at that moment, other times the starting points are subjects that have been with us for a while and again at other times we contemplate on something we heard or read somewhere.
Whatever the port of call might have been, often we end up surprising ourselves with our freely wandering mind.
So for the next such time I am bringing you 18 questions to choose from, to try.

Who knows what you might discover through them!?!?

They were written by Jordan Lejuwaan ( https://highexistence.com/writer/jordan/ ), and as a user’s guide, he says:
‘Asking yourself thought provoking questions is a form of meditation.
As you read the following list, don’t try to force the answer.
The whole point of the thought-provoking question is that it provokes thought, all by itself.
After you read each question, allow your mind to conjure up an answer spontaneously.
Perhaps you can take a few mindful breaths right now to bring your attention into the present moment.’

  1. If you could make a 30 second speech to the entire world, what would you say?
  2. If you were going to die at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm?
  3. How do you really KNOW anything for sure?
  4. If you had all the money in the world but still had to have some kind of a job, what would you choose to do?
  5. When you’re 90 years old, what will matter most to you?
  6. What do you regret most so far in life?
  7. How can you apply the lesson you learned from that regret to your life TODAY?
  8. What would you change if you were told with 100% certainty that God does not exist? Or if you don’t believe in God, that he does exist?
  9. If you lost everything tomorrow, whose arms would you want to run into? Does that person know how much they mean to you?
  10. Do you fear death? If so, do you have a good reason?
  11. What would you change if you knew you were NEVER going to die?
  12. If you were at heaven’s gates, and God asked you “why should I let you in?”, what would you say?
  13. When will you be good enough for you? Is there some breaking point where you will accept everything about yourself?
  14. Is the Country you live in really the best fit for you?
  15. What would people say about you at your funeral?
  16. What small thing could you do to make someone’s day better?
  17. (If you believe in God) would your relationship with God change at all if you were told with 100% certainty that he was actually a she?
  18. What do you believe stands between you and complete happiness?

Go for it with all you’ve got … BUT!

/in , , , /by

Do you have any dreams, goals, resolutions you want to have, reach, do?
Being the beginning of a new year, it feels timely to write about this now, as many often wait for a new year to start to set goals, make resolutions and/or to outline a way towards their dreams.

As always, yes, I know, we all are different and behave differently, do things differently, understand things differently.
This is about a general, can happen to anyone kind of feeling, regardless how you categorize (dream, goal, resolution, whatever) the bases of it for yourself.
Like for example I, for one, don’t like/use the word ‘goals’ as somehow I immediately associate it to sports and as such it already carries 50% of a chance of failing/not making it for me.
Dreams on the other hand I did and do have.

So, regardless of how you call it, in which category you put it, I guess you have one/some/more things you want to reach/build/have for yourself in this life.
Also I am sure, you did come across some of these motivational sayings: ‘don’t give up’, ‘never give up’, ‘follow your dreams’, ‘you are nearly there’, ‘the break through is just around the corner’, ‘it is always the darkest right before dawn’ and alike.

Along these lines we can hear too that don’t have a plan B as that would take the wind out from plan A because when you do, you’ll know there is always that plan B you can fall back onto and that would make you comfortable.

My question is, have you ever felt trapped by a dream, goal, resolution you had/have?
I have.
And I can tell you, it felt shit, frightening, hopeless and was taking a lot out of me to survive it, to move forward from there.

Once that dream of mine was born, I put in all I could think of would help me make it come true.
Just like you do when you really want to get somewhere, achieve something.
Studied, worked my ass off, found many different options and took countless opportunities that sounded inline with my reaching that dream. Also, it required tons of work on myself, had to go in deep, dig out crap, sort out my inner game such as limiting beliefs, screwed up patterns and basically getting out of my own way.
Not to forget, I spent a shitload of money for all before mentioned.

All the while I kept chanting to myself those affirmations, motivational quotes and was keeping at it … so much so that I got myself financially broke, mentally exhausted, emotionally wrecked.

What happened? How did it happen? Why did it happen?
Not for one minute had I a plan B.
Not for one minute did I a reality check.

All I had was a dream that I felt completely aligned with, that seemed the most natural, the best and the only way to go.
In spite my feelings, I got to the point where I was forced to change course.
It was a huge fight within myself as every cell of mine was against it, plus every time when I forced myself to decide for taking that step, I immediately run into, seen, heard something that I translated as a sign to not to do so.
It was a huge, painful, soul eating mess.

Finally I had to let go of that tight grip, go on another way, dig myself out of that dark place and realize (in retrospective, some years later) that it was the best way how it all could work out for the best.

Now for doing some good to some, I must say, I strongly suggest that at the beginning of your dream chasing, goal reaching, holding to a resolution: do prepare a plan B, write it down and put it somewhere safe and only thereafter go and concentrate on turning your dreams into reality.
In case in the process you find yourself over your reasonable timeline or money options, or at the edge of your sanity, or you feel your emotional wellbeing at risk, get your plan B out and go with that, for the time being at least!

True, it is always better to try and don’t reach than never try.
Also true that there are second (even third, fourth …) chances in life.

My conclusion is that it is best to have a plan B and change to it in case of need than ending up in an excessive, exhausting chaos, that brings you in to a dire, suffocating nightmare.

Be good to yourself!
Don’t get ruined in chasing the perfect dream, don’t get eaten alive in fighting to score goals but realise in time that reality, life as it is, is always better, even if it is not always perfect.