Mental health
Mental health is a hot topic.
There are conferences, videos, researches, summits happening, articles and opinions are on every possible platform over the Internet.
Many are amazing sources of information, knowledge, help, and some are doing nothing more than add to the harm.
Yesterday I heard a sentence that hit me hard, and triggered me to write this post.
Must start by saying, I am not a doctor, so what follows is my opinion and what I am about to say are rooting from my studies and experiences as a coach, as someone who met an extreme amount of people in her life through work, what I see and realized around me both on- and offline, and what I learned, realized, discovered about myself.
It is a huge subject so there is a fair chance of me not touching on something that affects/concerns/bothers you personally.
It does not mean on any level that I invalidate that, or you.
With all that said, here it comes.
Mental health is not a new age woo-woo.
Mental health is not something that the weak came up with to ‘use as cover’.
Mental health is not a luxury of the rich.
Mental health is not a privilege.
Mental health is a hot topic because it, and its effects on life in general were ignored for the longest time.
Mental health is a hot topic because the stigma on mental illnesses finally started to get dismantled.
Mental health is a hot topic because by now one in four people are affected by it at some point in their lives, and one out of two will develop one in their lifetime.
Not to mention that everyone has some moments when some form of support would benefit their mental health.
How is that even possible, you may ask.
Well, let’s see: life is getting faster and faster (at least in the so called civilized world); changes are daily occurrences; we are constantly bombarded with information; basically anyone is able to see, hear anything anywhere in the world in real time with the help of modern technology; social media gives opportunity to anyone to show anything and pretend it is real; work is often way more stressful than it could be considered reasonable, … no wonder that mental health is declining as the human brain was not designed to deal with all that and more.
Stress, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), dissociative disorders, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), obsessive-compulsive disorders (OCD), … and so on are diagnosed in more and more people.
And 1 in 5 people have suicidal thoughts and over 700.000 people (that is 1 person in every 40 seconds) die of suicide yearly.
When you are at a certain age and you look back you might think, or at any age you are you might have heard people saying ‘back in my time there were none of these stuff present”.
The truth of the matter is, they were present, only neuroscience and psychology were not where they are at today.
A decade and more back in time people were just labelled as crazy, lazy, strange, or were simply dismissed as simulants.
Nowadays as researches, studies and personal experiences are growing in numbers on the subject, it finally has the platforms where it is addressed not only that what mental illness means and what the different illnesses are, but also the consequences on personal life, sex life, work and physical illnesses too.
The sentence I heard yesterday was by Mel Robbins addressed to a girl about her suicidal thoughts: ‘you didn’t want to die, you just didn’t want to feel what you felt’.
Woah! Ain’t that the truth!?!
To feel bad, sad, useless, unloved, unsuccessful, lonely, cheated by life, a burden on others, see no way to change the course of events, and which ever feelings in whatever combination, it gets too much for the person and feels suicide is the only option left for them.
Because who would want to feel these feelings?
Of course, nobody!
Mental illness is nothing to be shameful about!
Also having bad days, bad periods in one’s life is normal, nothing to feel shame about it either, not to mention that such periods don’t necessarily equal to any illness either.
Let’s normalize having bad days; let’s normalize asking ‘do you want to talk?’ when we see a friend/relative/colleague being down; let’s stop judging and throwing dismissive comments; let’s agree that everyone’s feelings are valid.
The only way to turn around this tendency is if we take care of ourselves more, if we respect our feelings more, ask for some kind of help when feeling down; if we pay more attention to each other at work, at home, among friends and neighbours.
Also, let’s normalize ‘no’ as a full answer.
You are allowed, you can say it to anyone in any situation if this is what you want to say.
On the other hand, you must take it and understand it if this is the answer you get.
The sentiment of ‘be kind to everyone, you never know what battle they are fighting’ had never been more true.
And especially now, when ‘the season’ is here.
Understand that for some this is the most difficult time of the year.
Be kind, be loving but as the bare minimum, quit being an insensitive, judgy creep.
