Labels versus Self
The Internet in general, even more so all forms of social media, unsolicitedly floods people with any and all kind of ‘content’ and make looking up, finding information on anything into a matter of a few clicks.
Basically, whatever you are interested in you will find one opinion/explanation and the 180 degree opposite of it, plus anything in between in a matter of seconds.
To safely navigate all that, one needs to have self-knowledge and be self-confident, intelligent, educated, open minded, curious, understanding and allowing … at least, so it is easy to see why so rapidly numbers are rising of those in despair.
Lately I find, the biggest harm is caused by all those never trained, never studied, no responsibility, let me share my own two cents as it was the Holy Grail kind of ‘influencers’, ‘celebrities’, ‘YouTubers’, ‘Tik-Tokers’ and so on. Many of them hardly over the legal age.
The other day a friend called me and said: ‘I just saw a Tik-Tok video and from it I learned I am demisexual so I am not normal’. ‘What the heck?’ was my reaction, I blew up.
Thankfully, my friend shared it as a kind of an amusement, she is intelligent and whatever shit/label won’t change her view of herself but really, what the crap is going on?!?!?
‘That is not normal’ … ‘this is unhealthy’ … ‘you should do this’ … ‘you have to feel that way’ … all this and many more gets declared continuously by above mentioned type of people. And sadly, many fall into those traps.
No, the Holy Grail is not in my hands, no, I am not the one to know it best either but I am old enough, learned enough, seen enough and confident enough to say, in most cases there is not one ‘true’ way to be, to do.
And when it comes to sexuality and sex then I absolutely know and preach that no one has the right to tell you who you are, how you are, what is best for you!
You describe yourself as you want to, do whatever feels good to you!
As long as you are not hurting anyone, as long as you do it with consenting adult partner/s, everyone else needs to simply shut up and mind their own business.
Labels, such as demisexual, asexual, graysexual, allosexual and all others are surely useful from some research and medical point of view but in everyday life these are mostly only have the effect to divide people, to beat a wedge between them.
Have or don’t sex, be soft or rough or keep mixing it, use or don’t any sex toys, do it with one or more gender, be adventurous or a safe player in it … whatever you do, you need to be wanting it, be happy with it, enjoying it!
What you don’t need is anyone else’s approval, allowing or labelling.
Label yourself if you want to but never take any of that shit from any other person but you.
