Opposing a psychologist

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Just read an interview with a big name clinical psychologist, sexual psychologist.

For the first read I was like, woah, I really don’t agree with her.
Then had a chat about the piece with a friend of mine and for the sake of being precise in the discussion I kept re-reading the article. The more I read it, the more I was like NO, this is crap!!!
Sure she is highly trained and very experienced in her profession but by what I read, I wonder what kind of partner/s she have/had and how her sex life is … of course it is also possible that again is just a bad journalist who cut some stuff together and ‘sold’ it as an authentic interview.

Anyway … one of the statements were that a woman’s full body is an erogenous zone, but a man has only one of such area. Really?
In my work as well as outside work I had zillions of conversations with clients and friends out of which none would approve the above said.
Not to talk about the men I had sex with, I experienced with all of them that they had multiple areas where if they got played with, I got to see standing results. Also, there are parts of my body where no matter how much one would invest, would never get an erotic response out of me.

Another thing that got me screaming was that she said, couples need not to discuss everything honestly because she says ‘if one is honest then wants to prove her/his point and that is straight way to conflict. Also – she asks – what should be discussed? That what to do? That would be like a GPS.’

Now come on! First of all, being honest does not mean being right.
Being honest means this is what I think, this is what it means to me, this is how I see/feel/understand of whatever it is about.
Being honest means I don’t sugar-coat shit, I don’t do/say/take/accept anything just to please the other while I do not agree.
Being honest gives way to get to know the real person, the real feelings/needs/wants/expectations … and so it gives way to meaningful COMMUNICATION and not to conflict.

What should be discussed? Anything. Everything. Whatever.

And yes, when it comes to sex, do tell your partner your likes and dislikes, let her/him know what works for you. It does not mean sex will become dull since when you have a favourite destination to go to, even the GPS offers different roads that lead there. So is in sex. The final destination is likely a given but the way how you bring your partner there depends on your creativity, enthusiasm, love, care, patience, playfulness, and of course on your physical skills too.
So please, for your sake, for your relationships’ sake do communicate, communicate continuously and communicate honestly!

Circle of hate

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Seriously? In the XXI. century we are still here?
Although we are able to send people into space, we can print out literally anything in 3D, we can contact one another across the Globe by the touch of a button … we are still here that because you can’t face your chickenshit life and have no strength to better yourself you turn onto others and spit hate? Really???

White hates coloured. Coloured hates white.
Straight hates gay. Gay hates straight.
Religious hates atheists. Atheist hates religious.
Vegan hates meat eater. Meat eater hates vegan.
Slim hates fat. Fat hates slim.
Graduate hates uneducated. Uneducated hates graduate.

This list is fucking endless!!!

Each and every one of us can be ugly-spoken about, bullied, hated by someone else. We all can be the subject of it.
Do you see the pattern? You hate someone, someone hates you … and so it goes still the last man standing.

OR you can decide to break the circle and stop hating, bullying, ugly-speaking.

Think about it: does this crap brings you anything constructive, good, nice?
Are you any more rich, beautiful, happy, healthy, any more of a better person? Does your sex life, relationship gets any better from it?
Does it bring you ANYTHING?
For once, be honest with yourself: the answer is an absolute NO.

It only takes away from you. Your energy, focus, peace.

So why are you still participating in this fucked up, no win, mostly media/politics generated ‘game’ that does not benefit you in any way?

You were not born with hate in you and this is a proven fact.
You learnt it somewhere along the line and that means you can unlearn it, drop it, close it out of your life.
It only takes one decision to break the circle off.

And then you’ll have more energy, time, attention that you can turn toward anything that does bring you happiness, satisfaction, riches, health, peace.

Be selfish!
Think of what profits you!

It is simple! Just don’t fall for the ‘game’ they are trying to pull you into! There is no benefit in it for you! There is no gain in it for the individual, only politics and sharks profit from it.

Realize that on this planet there are plants, animals and people, and all three types of beings have plenty of variations.
That’s it.
No less.
No more.

Just be! Enjoy life, have fun, make the most of it!
Love!

Where is the love?

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Woman, man, young, old, coloured, white, straight, gay, thin, fat, religious, atheist, short, tall … one thing is mutual, all are member of the one human race and all share the one Earth.

Wherever you are at, whatever you have achieved, fighting at, whomever you love, it is all your business, nobody else’s!
You might share it, talk about it, you might keep it all to yourself but nobody has the right to put you down, belittle, bully, criticize, judge or punish you for it.

Throughout history oh so many well-known figures were trying to get the point across that saying negative things about someone else does not make you any better, to hate anything or anyone will not bring you love, to deny different point of views will not make yours true nor right!

Nowadays when news and fake news travel with light speed, we have to be even more aware of all those warnings.

Nowadays when politicians, corporations and media are only after money and power and for that they are not shy of spreading straight, fat lies to heat up hatred among whomever benefits them the most, we, the people, the individual, have to be more open, inclusive, compassionate and we have to understand finally that love is the only valid emotion that can move us forward and break walls down.

All the negativity in and around us just helps those who are using the world as if everything and everyone was their puppet.

And if we don’t do our share now, they will win and that my friend would be a very sad and soon to come end to this world!

Don’t give in!
You are better than that! You know better than that!

Don’t put anyone down just because you don’t like what they do, they might not like what you do.

Don’t belittle anyone because that can be the last straw for one to be pushed over the edge.

Don’t bully just because someone else is doing it too but make it stop.

Don’t criticize because that hurts and when you will get criticized you will hurt too.

Don’t judge because you hate to be judged too.

Don’t hate because … because why would you??? Brings nothing worthy nor valuable to you.

And most of all, don’t wait for the big guys to do anything for you.
No politician, no government will look out for your best interest. (Yes, there are a very few who try to change things for the better on that level too but presently they are just a handful of Don Quijotes against plenty gigantic windmills.)
They, in general, don’t give a shit about you!

This is why they send you to wars to fight for their interest while they keep enjoying luxury.

This is why they deny, forbid resources from you to make you use things that bring them more money.

This is why they tell you who to hate, so your hate helps them to gain more power and money.

This is why they fabricate the news so you are played with as it pleases them.

Wake up!
Use your brain!

Research, talk, ask, exchange, communicate with people from all walks of life.
Broaden your horizon.

Have your own opinion, don’t just pick up some that was spitted at you.

Actually, it is really simple: the more informed, educated, positive you become, the more you see the whole, big picture, the more chance we all have for a peaceful, united, healthy, happy world!

Just let love rule!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsRMoWYGLNA