Slapping the story of a slap

/in , , /by

The world has gone mad, as far as I am concerned.

On a stage an actor slapped another actor AFTER a bad, hurtful joke that was on the account of a woman with an illness, the wife of the slapper.

Although to joke on any level with anyone’s illness and/or disability is just a plain no go, now the whole – social media – world is in uproar, about the slap.
Everybody is analysing what happened, what this means, what consequences does this have onto the world.
Behaviour analysts, feminists, psychologists, many are joining the choir, all giving their explanation, opinion, all serving it as the one and only truth and most making the slapper to be the antichrist.

All are shouting from behind the computer screens that the slapper should have been arrested on the spot, that it was an abuse, that it is unacceptable and the like.

Sure, because if it was the shouter, s/he would have stayed seated, it would have not upsetted them, they would not have let their emotions run them over, they are a perfect Buddha, they are in absolute control of themselves all the time, under all circumstances.

Bullshit!

Oh, how I love older times, when snowflakes were only part of winter weather.

Come on people, if you really want to be upset, if you really want to be outraged then you might want to consider the real world.
You know, the one where still people are dying because of hunger; where there are still wars happening; where kids still get bullied and because of it commit suicide; where rape is a daily occurrence; where paedophilia is actively alive; where beating people into pulp, killing them because of their skin colour, religion or sexual orientation; … this list is fucking endless.

And you are upset, disturbed and outraged because of a slap across a face?
This is what I find ridiculous.

Teach, preach, show an example of how life is done well (or at least better), of what kindness is, of how not to judge, of how not to declare ‘truth’ with only partial knowledge, of how not to discriminate.

Teach, preach, show an example of how to humanly handle a situation where some might have made a mistake, explain what and how could have been done better.

Teach, preach, show what to do, how to stand up for your loved ones when they get emotionally or physically hurt, attacked by someone.

Be human, be compassionate, be understanding.

Accept that you don’t know it all, that you don’t hold the holy grail.
None of us does.

Stop screwing things up as we have done already with so many things in the world that could have been something of a great learning, growing for many but eventually became just another ride for the egos, for the 15 minutes fame chasers.

Compassion and empathy are beautiful virtues.
Learn them, use them.

Not to mention that many millions of us were slapped across the face for even much less of a reason, and we all lived and so does the world.

To dream or not to dream

/in , , /by

Have you ever heard, read, been told any of these ‘motivational’ phrases:
‘Never give up’
‘Keep on going’
‘If you can dream it, you can become it’
‘You just need to be determined and you’ll get there’ … and the alike?

Sure you have.
And you did/do, till comes a day when you find yourself tired, confused, disheartened.

For years, for decades you had a dream, you were determined, you kept on going, you didn’t give up … and you didn’t make it.

Whatever that dream of yours is, a loving relationship, your own business, writing a book, making a living out of your creativity, whatever, this disappointment can happen, it does happen, and no, you are not alone experiencing this.

Also, ‘it’ not happening (yet) does not equal to anything being wrong with you.

What it means is that there are many other things you are occupied with.
It means you have a job, you are taking care of family, it means life keeps on happening and you just don’t find the time, the energy, the finances to push your dream towards reality.
You know, circumstances.
If this is the case, you need to understand that there always be circumstances that will not seem perfect for going after your dreams.

Just want you to be clear with this so you can maybe rethink your stand and check and change your priorities so you may start to push your dreams higher and higher up on your ‘to do list’, till you get to it and start bringing it alive.

On the other hand, if your dream didn’t happen yet due to you not believing in yourself, you doubting your own talent, you questioning your own worth, then it is high time you give yourself the chance by starting to work on yourself.
All these are blocks you developed, stories you are telling to yourself.

And blocks can be dissolved and stories can be changed.

For a business, writing, turning your creativity into a stream of income, for all, there are questions you would need to ask yourself and would need to be honest with your answers.
Often it is way more difficult to accomplish than as it sounds, and when this situation occurs an advisor/teacher/coach could help you the most to get on the road and finally start moving forward achieving your dreams.

Like, if it is about a loving relationship and you came to me to work for that dream of yours, I’d ask questions, like ‘how do you think of yourself’, ‘how do you see yourself’, ‘how open you think you are’, ‘how wide and high your defence walls are’ and so on.
And I wouldn’t let you stay with your routine answers that you kept giving yourself and others, as obviously those kept you where you are, not reaching your dreams.

So yes, bringing one’s dreams into reality requires work, commitment, patience, and self-knowledge among some other factors.

It’s up to you to have or not to have dreams but when you do, I believe it is best to try to make them reality even if you don’t succeed, than never even try to achieve them.

Regret, the ‘what would have been if’ is one of the worst, least interpretable feelings one can have.
Reduce your possible reasons for it.

Winning, losing or just loving

/in , , /by

In any kind of a relationship, intimate, family, business – in any – there are times when waters get more stormy than usual.
It is natural. It is human nature. It is hormones. It is stress. It is worry. It is triggers. It is outside circumstances. It is misunderstanding. It is whatever.

It does happen that people have different opinions, emotional/financial interests, moods, or anything that is not a match, not in alignment at a given moment.
The involved parties share their point of view through which it becomes obvious that they are at opposing ends of a stick.
Now what?

There are numerous options.

They might agree to disagree, and they move on with their day.

They might start a conversation, both explaining their stand and are trying to convince the other of their view being the right one.
That also can lead to different outcomes, like one realizing that the other is right and so changes her/his opinion, or that both alter somewhat of their original and meet somewhere in a middle in agreement, or after the discussion they agree on disagreeing.

They might ask a third party to be a moderator in the situation and help them to understand each other.

These all are viable, good solutions.

When one, after stating their standpoint is not ready/willing/able to discuss, that is a more difficult scenario for to reach an understanding, agreement, a mutually agreeable direction to move on, becomes very hard, if not impossible.
In such case, some form of an impartial outside help is the best way to move forward with.

As situations are different, as people are different, as attitudes are different, as styles are different, all the above can be conducted in different manners.
It all can be a quiet chat, a discussion, a heated argument, a loud exchange of opinions, it all can be on different noise levels, it can happen with different amount of gesticulation.

At the end it can come to a closure with an OK from the parties, with a handshake, a smile, a cuddle, …

But that’s it!

No verbal violence, no fight, no war on any level, will move you forward in a productive, helpful, healthy way.
None of such is a way towards solution for kind, caring, intelligent people.

These will hurt both parties, will cause a painful aftermath, will make moving forward way more difficult, will make reconciliation a much longer, if possible at all, process.
Whatever disagreement one may have on any level in any kind of a relationship, aggression, deliberate hurting, war, is no option, no solution.

We all are people, we all have better and not so good days, we all can be caught up in our own crap and that is normal.
At the same time, we all are capable of kind, generous, understanding and allowing ways of communication and we all can keep improving ourselves in that (too).

Here I cheer all of us on finding, learning the peaceful, human, constructive ways of solutions for all the small, medium, large, gigantic sized of issues we might encounter in our lives.

We all want love, we all deserve love, we all wish to live in peace, harmony, and love, so let’s let love rule.
Decide what you want for yourself in life and remember, no amount of fight will ever bring love.