Traditions, traditional ways

Lately I came across quite a few festivities that I had no clue what they were about and when I asked what they were, why they were the way as they were, I got the answer, it is tradition.

The meaning of the word tradition by the Cambridge dictionary is: ‘a belief, principle, or way of acting that people in a particular society or group have continued to follow for a long time, or all of these beliefs, etc. in a particular society or group’.

To keep a tradition, I believe is great, as long as we know where it originates from, what is the meaning of it, why it is structured as it is and whether it has a positive impact on people.
When we don’t, then it is time to revisit it, if we really want to keep it and if so, in what form.

Also, I believe, there are traditions that are simply outdated.
Like, I just experienced a festivity that includes the use of fire.
Asked a few locals, why the fire, they had no idea, just that it is tradition.
Now, I believe that some hundreds of years ago when this celebration started, people were marching with torches, or they might have had a bonfire or something.
Maybe for no other reason than just to have some light in the night.

Nowadays they are playing music while marching and dancing through the narrow streets of the town, what is joined and watched by kids and adults alike.
And they are using some crazy pyrotechnic devices that are like giant, spinning sparklers.

The store owners a bit earlier today had covered the windows with protective layers, the apartment owners are closing the windows and doors to make sure that there will not be any fire damage.
Among the people are marching firefighters with fire extinguishers in hand and paramedics with their first aid bags in case something goes wrong.
Many people’s clothes get small burnt holes from the flying flames, and I heard that every year there are several people ending up in hospital because of serious injuries due to the fire plays.

Is it something special to watch? Yes.
Is it safe? Not at all.
Is it clean? The absolute opposite.
But the show must go on, as it is tradition.

And you know what?
I feel very similar about a lot of things in today’s world.
Like they are outdated but society keeps them around because it is the traditional way, because it has been so for ages.

Like gender roles.
Like only a man and a woman are a couple.
Like a woman’s job is to give birth.
Like the man is the head of the household.
Like go to school, get a job, do as you are told, don’t ask questions, play nice, retire.
Like have a family, fit in, be a good neighbour.
And so on.

Luckily, there are more and more people in more and more areas who are breaking the pattern, are opening their mouths and speaking up, are bravely leading the changes.
And this is the key!
The world changes!

We know more, we know else, than people of the Roman Empire or of the Middle Ages or even of the last century.
We have different resources, different life span, different health care options, different living conditions.

Also by now many understands that although we are all human beings, we are all different, though we have many similarities.

For fact, every single person is performing best in every aspect of their life, when they operate from their authentic self.
When one can be who one wants to be. Gender does not defines talent, amount of knowledge, creativity, or value.
When one can love whom they want to, can enjoy sex with whom they want to. One’s choice that might be different than the next person’s, is none of anybody else’s business but the one’s.
When one can have or not have a family by their own preference. Nobody is to have any say in this, only the person, couple in question.

So regardless if it is a celebration or a societal expectation, traditions can be an important part of life as long as they serve the people, as long as they are safe, human and are still carrying value.
When it is not the case, then traditions, traditional thinking needs to be looked at and decided whether partially need to be rethought, or maybe even fully just let go of.

From the past we must learn but must not drag it along for the disadvantage of the present.

Annoyed and ranting

Sexuality is part of every human being.
Sex is an activity exercised by most human beings.

It is obvious that there are many problems around these subjects worldwide, rooting in not understanding, not knowing, in lack of support, in lack of self-knowledge, self-acceptance and self-confidence.
Of course, in these cases, as with anything, education is the answer.
It is highly likely it would be a tremendous improvement towards solving all such issues for future generations if teenagers could learn openly about them.
Unfortunately, there is still no (or only in a few countries) education on them integrated into school curriculums.
For adults it is also not easy to find ways to get themselves educated if they feel the need to.

At the same time, there are many of us, coaches, trainers, psychologists, therapists around the world who see these problems and are/would be willing to take on the task of talking / teaching / helping.
And of course, we are doing exactly that within our offered services.

For that, we want to show ourselves, advertise, make it easy for people to find us.
We want to be easily visible so we could help all those in need, those who are ready and willing to improve, to learn, to solve certain issues.
And this where we all get screwed big time!

On the internet, let it be in or out of social media platforms there is a ‘witch hunt’ going on.
The word ‘sex’ cannot be written as is. Must come up with creative lettering ( s e x, s@x, …) if we want to talk about it.
Photos to illustrate what we are saying must not show much skin, nor be sexually explicit as they say it.
When we write ‘sexual education’, we get punished by being restricted in visibility.
In any situation we want to explain something we are forced to use ‘flower language’ that makes things more complicated, less effective.
You get the picture.

All because the word ‘sex’ got demonised by collecting all activities from masturbation to consenting adults making love to rape and exploitation of kids under the same word.

Yes, I know, Web and dark web.
Yes, I know, AI.
Yes, I know, there are many explanations and excuses.

Honestly, I don’t care anymore.

I am sick and tired that us, who want to help, who want to make it easier for people to find understanding, non-judgemental pair of ears, to provide possible life saving resources are forced back to our own little corners, and so us being found is by sheer luck.

I am mad that because those who created the systems had no knowledge on the subject, no willingness to categorise, nor understanding of the consequences of their doing, of that the damage is continuous.
They form and play the system in their own favour and show up as the keeper of values, as the saviours of the world.
They say we have to be kept in line, they say they are saving kids from our bad influence, improper content … at the same time they are letting real shit be present and be on the internet.

When I say sex is good, love is love and I can help you to feel good about yourself, then I need to be closely monitored, even denied access to certain services, restricted in visibility, etc.

So yeah, I am fed up and sick of this hypocrisy and all those hypocrites who blow the same whistle.

And I don’t care if some in power try to turn things back as they were in the 1950’s, if the internet is keep coming up with further restrictions, I won’t shut up!
I will still preach, maybe even louder, to all who listens that sex is amazing, that sex is to happen between consenting adults, that it is nobody else’s business of how and with whom you live your sex life with as long as is between legal aged, consenting partners, that there is no constitutionally wrong way or right way of having sex, that sex is healthy, that sex is fun.
That your life is yours to have, yours to live.
That your relationship has to satisfy you and your partner(s) and nobody else.
That your body is yours and you do with it as you want to.

Take charge of your life, don’t give up, don’t give in!

Live, laugh, love