They don’t care …

Since it’s still January, and the energies only recently are turning completely into the “new momentum” of 2023 (and because there is a lot of negative, shitty, depressing news and happenings coming at us from the world), I feel that a rougher “I’ll help you sort yourself out” type of writing wants to be here.

Buckle your seatbelts!

I am not interested in the so-called big politics, I am not interested in the few “dark knights” who supposedly are ruling the world, I am not interested in the world economy … on the level, that all kinds of, for a good amount of money turned into ass-licker, media serve it to us, “average people”.
I am not interested, because I’ve known for some time that many things have nothing to do with reality, that a large percentage of them are bent along certain interests, and that the truth, the complete truth, is damn hard to find out, if it’s ever possible at all.

In this I got my first lesson when I was still working in film production.
Fact, that was the deciding moment about the tabloid category I knew “well, I won’t believe a word they say in the future”.

It just so happened that an article was published in which an actor was torn to shreds about what he did some nights earlier.
The “only” problem was that that actor filmed with us on that ominous evening described in the article, hundreds of kilometers away from the location indicated in the article.
As it turned out, that piece was also part of a campaign trying to discredit that actor.

This is where this process started for me.

Then it continued when I worked in tourism.
Somehow I learned that there are awards and recognitions that almost anyone can win, it’s all just a matter of money and “bribe” and “venality”.

Then, when I was already active as a coach, I noticed that there are widely known people who call themselves coaches and motivational speakers, who, without batting an eye, use materials, make statements, express thoughts, but just “forget” to mark and mention their origin.

For the “perpetrators” in all 3 mentioned categories it still works today … because of you.
Because of the average person.
After all, the tabloids sell to you; in tourism, these companies show their awards to you, to make themselves more attractive to you; and “coaches” and “motivational speakers” also profit from you with their unoriginal, stolen materials that are used without indicating the source.

How is all this possible?
That you don’t ask, you don’t check, you just “eat” what they put in front of you.

And this is exactly why big politics, the world economy, and the “dark knights” or anyone can feed/sell anything to the masses.

Well, and as unpleasant as it sounds, it starts with you.

How?
In the way that you were taught that superiors cannot be questioned.
That old people should be respected.
That x is something you have to believe in, to be considered as a good person.
That you are a “real” man if you work yourself half dead and provide for your family and don’t show your emotions.
That you are a “real” woman if you give birth, excel in washing, cooking, cleaning and put everyone before yourself.
I won’t continue, I think you feel it.

Against all these:
Why wouldn’t the superiors be asked? When and how did they become infallible?
Just because someone is old doesn’t mean they deserve respect.
A few hundred or a few thousand kilometers away, something else is considered to be the definition of a good person.
“Real” is not an adjective that can be defined socially as a whole, but can only and exclusively be given by the partner, so this adjective has (also) infinite interpretations.

So that you wouldn’t need to fight every day with who is covering you with what, be it the media or any social network, you have to whip yourself, your life into shape.
In order to be able to live what and how you really want, first you need to know yourself, to know who you really are, what you want, what things and values are important to you.
And you also need to know: we are not the same and that is wonderful. So you don’t have to become anything if you don’t feel that as your identity. You do the best for yourself and for the world, when you are your authentic self.

And I shouldn’t even ask, if media workers can lie without batting an eye, if companies can buy themselves certain recognitions, if those who award them can be corrupted, if coaches and motivational speakers can reach the masses with plagiarized material, then why shouldn’t lie the stars off of the sky the politicians, those who manage the world economy, the “dark knights”?

I don’t think this current “order” from the top down will ever change for the better.
However, I do believe that if more and more of us, the “average people” understand,
that everyone has the right to live their own life as they wish (as long as it does not cause any harm to others),
that we cannot take out our frustrations about our own lives on others,
that if we do not erase, rewrite certain parts of our history, but face them and learn from them,
if we try not to do anything to others that we would hate to happen to us,
if we tried to help each other more, support each other better,
if allowing, understanding, care and love would rule the critical mass,
then we can achieve that there are no people in politics and on social networks who shout the opposite of all these for their own personal (usually purely material) interests.

It could be a much better, more liveable, significantly more harmonious, happier place, all it takes, is that we don’t wait for the “big guys”, always for someone else to do something!?!
We should do it!
The “average people”, the you and the me.

PS: In 1991 and 1995 Michael Jackson already sang all this … it would be time to act …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWf-eARnf6U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNJL6nfu__Q

New Year’s Resolutions – or?

So here we are, in 2023.
A new year with new energies, new possibilities, new hopes and aims.
And for many, January 1st means new year’s resolutions.

First of all, let me say, nothing is wrong with new year’s resolutions … IF …

OK, so are you one of those who make them? Do they usually work out for you? Do they give you the feeling of success, accomplishment, joy when at the end of the year you look back and see what and how you did with them? When your answer is yes, then congratulations!
These resolutions seem to work for you as great motivators and guides.
Great job, cool routine, keep on making them and follow them through!
Good on you through and through.

Likely the rest what follows here is not for you.

It is for you, who is not in the above category, but you still make them, still give them a go year after year.

And now about that IF I wrote above.

In case you are one who makes those resolutions and generally you do not keep them, they do not work out for you and that makes you sad, upset, angry, talking down on yourself, feeling of unworthiness and alike, I have a question for you: what makes you go through the same/very similar process year after year?

Is it a tradition in your family? This is what you were told you were supposed to do? You do it because your friend/partner is doing it? Because you want to achieve certain things and you feel you need a starting point?

Whatever is the case, the bottom line is, if this system brings you more negative emotions than positive ones, then you simply just need to drop this ‘custom’.

Let’s dive in a bit.
Resolutions are basically goals.
They can be about anything, health, wellbeing, relationships, finances, work, whatever really.
Only because they are tied to the beginning of the year, they got this fancy title of new year’s resolutions.
The fact though is, that goal setting does not require a specific date.
It can be that you wake up on a gloomy Tuesday morning in March and realize, your coffee intake is over the roof and probably that is (one of) the reason why your sleep is not that peaceful, recharging, and perfect as you wish it to be. So immediately you can take action and have 1 or 2 coffees less already that day, give yourself a timeframe of two weeks and see what this change brings you. Falling asleep easier, sleeping better, getting up with more energy? Superb! You can decide to continue with having less coffee and enjoy your sleep more.
Or, if it doesn’t give you any benefit, only you feel even more crazy as you are missing those coffees, you can add them back and can start looking for other options to get a better sleep.

And this is how it works with any kind of a goal.
Set it, test it, do it, timeframes may vary, evaluate, decide accordingly whether to continue with that specific action or drop it.

Now opposed to this, stands the new year’s resolution where many go overboard.
They make a long list and make each of them on the list really big.
Like this is the year when I start going to the gym and will lose x amount of weight, get a body ready for a fitness competition and all that by December 31st – great idea, but if you haven’t done any exercises in ages (or ever), haven’t done your research to see who, where offers what, who, where can support you how, haven’t figured out your (real) reasons behind why you are out of shape, carrying extra weight, how you will be able to fit a new routine into your schedule, then it is quite likely that by the end of January you throw in the towel.
It is (generally) exactly the same story with any kind of a new year’s resolutions.
They are big, ambitious, emotionally charged, often impulsive and kind of repetitive from year after year as they never get carried out, fulfilled.

It doesn’t have to be like this.

You can drop this whole concept and do it all on your terms.

Every day is a new starting point. It doesn’t matter what date is stamped on that day.
Whenever something comes up that you want to do for yourself, your family, your community, just think it over, write it out, set that goal and go for it.

By the way, when you are like me and dislike the word goal and/or resolution, you don’t need to use them.
Call them your dreams, visions, ideas, baby beans, whatever you want to call them.
It’s not the title, it’s the actions around them that counts.

And I want you to know from the very beginning of your next ‘baby bean planting’, not all of them can be done, not all will happen, and not all will happen as you want it, when you want it.
It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you!
It only means that life sometimes takes us to different directions, with a different time schedule.

So, the IF is that it only is a good idea, when you feel good about it, when it brings you positive feelings, when it helps you feel better.

Find and get in the flow, welcome the changes, stay true to yourself and chase your dreams, regardless!