How not to be obtuse

The Internet is a great thing.
With its help we can stay in contact with one another even across the world, we can find out any information in a few minutes, we can watch movies, listen to music, have a look at basically any location of the world, and so on.

And exactly this is the drawback of it too.
In a few minutes you can find any kind of an information and its 180-degree contradictory one too.

Books are amazing.
Only whatever is in them is through the writer’s filters.

Unfortunately, many people who read something on the internet, in a paper or in a book, hear things on the news, by certain people in certain positions, they believe it without a shadow of a doubt, basically taking everything on face value without ever questioning it, looking behind it, checking facts, or just using common sense.

‘Americans are frank and direct in dealings with others.
Spaniards are more open to chat than most other European cultures.
Germans do not admit faults, even jokingly, and rarely hand out compliments.
Australians have an easy-going, friendly attitude.
Chinese people are very modest and not accustomed to show their feelings in public.’

Above five statements are all from the internet.

Due to my travels and dealings with people of many different nationalities, I can say I had quite contrasting experiences too, with people from the above-mentioned Countries.

Along these lines, I must say, not all religious people are fanatics; not all gay men wear shiny, glittery clothes; not all men are a threat to women, or to kids; not all atheists live without values; not all women want kids; not all old people are grumpy; not all young people are irresponsible; not all homeless people are alcoholic and/or drug addicts; not all Jews are rich; not all black people are criminals; not all politicians are stupid without an idea of the real world; … and so on.

And this is where travel and face to face communication come into the picture.

When you travel you see, hear, experience with your own eyes, ears, senses, brain.
It is, in my view, always the most reliable source of making up your own opinion.

Like you saw photos of that gorgeous beach, but you won’t know till you get there that it is only a hundred meters out of the whole stretch, the rest is stony, dirty, neglected.
You were told that city is gorgeous, very romantic, only when you get there will you see its streets are full of trash.
You read reviews of a place that were not the least bit enthusiastic, said it was a plain, boring one. Only when you get there can you find that it has some unique, hidden gems that was well worth your time and money.

Of course, it works like this not only with locations.

Exactly the same applies to people, cultures, traditions.
To everything really.
Okay, maybe not so much so to science.

They told you, you read that ‘those’ people are ‘bad’.
First of all, it is a generalization.
There are no nationalities, minorities, believers of whatever, pursuers of any profession, people of the same sexuality, of the same age group, of the same gender … in which all the people of that given group are the same.
Even though the general narrative suggests they are.

Do not fall for it.

Get out of your own tiny bubble, talk to people, ask questions, connect, and travel.
Even if it is within your own Country, you already will have a wider view.
With 100 percent certainty I can say, you will have some ‘wow’ moments.

In general, before you accept anyone’s opinion on anybody, on any kind of a group of people, have some personal experiences.
Talk to some of those people, ask questions, communicate.

The easiest, and often the most harmful is just blindly, deafly, mindlessly believe what others tell you on anybody, or on any group of people.

Especially because it can vary from silly gossip to a biased opinion, to a purposefully damaging statement, to declaring whatever in order to support the agenda of the person saying it.

So please, use your mind, your common sense, filter such ‘facts’ through your experiences and form your own opinion.
Be open and willing to discussions.

Be kind, be caring, be allowing, lead with love.
Let’s be a part of forming a better, safer world for all of us.

Your fucking truth

Although I always have a lot what I want to say, to write, somehow today I just couldn’t come up with the right words.
Kept trying, wrote something, then something else but I didn’t like any of them.
In my upsetness with myself I started to roam around the internet.
And suddenly, this popped up in front of me.

Read it.
And I was like, YES, this is it.
This is what I am saying, trying to get across to all who would listen.
This is all what everything is about.
Simply perfect.
I have nothing to add, nothing to explain.
Amazingly written, raw, real, authentic, dare I say, life changing piece.
Just read it:

 

TELL YOUR FUCKING TRUTH
by Jeff Foster  https://www.lifewithoutacentre.com/

I have seen miracles happen, when people just tell the truth.

Not the ‘nice’ truth.
Not the truth that seeks to please or comfort.
But the wild truth. The feral truth.
The inconvenient truth.
The tantric truth. The ‘fucking’ truth.

The truth you’re afraid to tell.
The horrible truth about yourself
that you hide in order to ‘protect’ others.
To avoid being ‘too much’.
To avoid being shamed and rejected.
To avoid being seen.

The truth of your deepest feelings:
The rage you have been concealing, controlling, pasting over.
The terrors you do not want to speak.
The sexual urges you’ve been trying to numb.
The primal longings you cannot bear to articulate.

Finally, the defences break down,
and this ‘unsafe’ material emerges
from deep within the unconscious.
You can’t hold it back anymore.
The image of the ‘good boy’ or ‘nice girl’ evaporates.
The ‘perfect one’, the ‘one who has it all figured out’,
the ‘evolved one’, these images burn.

You tremble, you sweat, you come close to vomiting,
you think you might die doing it,
but finally you tell the fucking truth,
the truth you are deeply ashamed of.

Not the abstract truth. Not the ‘spiritual’ truth.
Not a carefully-worded truth designed to prevent offence.
Not a neatly-packaged truth.
But a messy, fiery, sloppy human truth.
A bloody, passionate, provocative, sensual,
untamed and unvarnished mortal truth.
A shaky, sticky, sweaty, vulnerable truth.

The truth of how you feel.
The truth that lets another person see you in the raw.
The truth that makes one gasp.
The truth that makes your heart pound.

This is the truth that will set you free.

I have seen chronic depressions and life-long anxieties lift overnight.
I have seen deeply embedded traumas evaporate.
I have seen fibromyalgia, life-long migraines, chronic fatigue, unbearable back pain, bodily tension, stomach disorders, vanish, never to return.

Of course, the ‘side-effects’ of truth aren’t always this dramatic.
And we don’t step into our truth with a result in mind.
But think of the massive amounts of energy it must take
to repress our animal wildness,
numb our feral nature,
suppress our rage, tears and terror,
uphold a false image, and pretend to be ‘okay’.
Think of all the tension we hold in the body,
and the damage it does to our immune systems,
when we live in fear of ‘coming out’.

Take the risk of telling your truth.
The truth you are afraid to tell.
The truth you fear will make the world run.
Find a safe person – a friend, a therapist, a counsellor, yourself –
and let them in. Let them hold you as you break down.
Let them love on you
as you weep, rage, quake with fear,
and generally make a mess.

Tell your fucking truth to someone – it might just save your life, heal you from deep within, and connect you to humanity in ways you never imagined.