Relationship Coach

Another kind of loathsome

In recent days I experienced something that triggered me.
Nothing devastating only sad, discouraging and/or annoying.
But then again, the more I was thinking about it, the more I thought that indeed it is something big and serious, although commonly we just wave it off, shrug and move on.

This action is, in general, get to be talked about a lot – now I am not getting into of what I think of the how – but this subspecies of the act, I feel is getting overlooked.

It is abuse, specifically the abuse of time.

Abuse is often subject of discussions, of warnings, of certain teachings of what to be careful about and how to recognise signs of it as early as possible.
These talks are mainly about physical, emotional, sexual and sometimes about organizational/institutional abuse.
They are much needed discussions and people must be made aware of how they can protect themselves from it or if they had already fallen victim of, then how to get out of, recover from any of such experience.
Nowadays various kind of help is available to those suffering from any of it, so once they realize and admit to themselves that this is what is happening to them, they have the chance to ask for help and recover, eventually.

But if one’s time gets abused?
By someone who is constantly late without any acceptable reason?
By someone who constantly cancels at the very last moment and so screwing up your plans?
Or if after a few hours or days, you discover that the other’s motives in a discussion/connection, let it be business or private, were exclusively selfish, with only their own interest and sake in their mind but all that was presented to be as a possible mutually beneficial communication?
Of course, we can emotionally overcome of such crap fast, saying that ‘shit happens’, not all are as they say they are.

But the real pain here is that time can not be recovered!
Time that we tend to take for granted.
Time that could have been better spent.
Time that never comes back, never can be relived.
Time that never waits, never stops.

When anyone around you shows signs of such irresponsible, even if lightly but abusive behaviour, call them out on it.
They might not even have been aware of the nature of such doing.
Do not let it slide!
Call attention to it while it is ‘small’, you might just be able to stop someone growing into a more serial/serious kind of an abuser.

By all means you’d be demolishing the ‘I didn’t realize’ excuse, at least.

 

From the Cambridge English Dictionary:
Abuser is someone who treats another person in a cruel, violent or unfair way.
Someone who uses something in a way that is harmful or morally wrong.