Traditions, traditional ways

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Lately I came across quite a few festivities that I had no clue what they were about and when I asked what they were, why they were the way as they were, I got the answer, it is tradition.

The meaning of the word tradition by the Cambridge dictionary is: ‘a belief, principle, or way of acting that people in a particular society or group have continued to follow for a long time, or all of these beliefs, etc. in a particular society or group’.

To keep a tradition, I believe is great, as long as we know where it originates from, what is the meaning of it, why it is structured as it is and whether it has a positive impact on people.
When we don’t, then it is time to revisit it, if we really want to keep it and if so, in what form.

Also, I believe, there are traditions that are simply outdated.
Like, I just experienced a festivity that includes the use of fire.
Asked a few locals, why the fire, they had no idea, just that it is tradition.
Now, I believe that some hundreds of years ago when this celebration started, people were marching with torches, or they might have had a bonfire or something.
Maybe for no other reason than just to have some light in the night.

Nowadays they are playing music while marching and dancing through the narrow streets of the town, what is joined and watched by kids and adults alike.
And they are using some crazy pyrotechnic devices that are like giant, spinning sparklers.

The store owners a bit earlier today had covered the windows with protective layers, the apartment owners are closing the windows and doors to make sure that there will not be any fire damage.
Among the people are marching firefighters with fire extinguishers in hand and paramedics with their first aid bags in case something goes wrong.
Many people’s clothes get small burnt holes from the flying flames, and I heard that every year there are several people ending up in hospital because of serious injuries due to the fire plays.

Is it something special to watch? Yes.
Is it safe? Not at all.
Is it clean? The absolute opposite.
But the show must go on, as it is tradition.

And you know what?
I feel very similar about a lot of things in today’s world.
Like they are outdated but society keeps them around because it is the traditional way, because it has been so for ages.

Like gender roles.
Like only a man and a woman are a couple.
Like a woman’s job is to give birth.
Like the man is the head of the household.
Like go to school, get a job, do as you are told, don’t ask questions, play nice, retire.
Like have a family, fit in, be a good neighbour.
And so on.

Luckily, there are more and more people in more and more areas who are breaking the pattern, are opening their mouths and speaking up, are bravely leading the changes.
And this is the key!
The world changes!

We know more, we know else, than people of the Roman Empire or of the Middle Ages or even of the last century.
We have different resources, different life span, different health care options, different living conditions.

Also by now many understands that although we are all human beings, we are all different, though we have many similarities.

For fact, every single person is performing best in every aspect of their life, when they operate from their authentic self.
When one can be who one wants to be. Gender does not defines talent, amount of knowledge, creativity, or value.
When one can love whom they want to, can enjoy sex with whom they want to. One’s choice that might be different than the next person’s, is none of anybody else’s business but the one’s.
When one can have or not have a family by their own preference. Nobody is to have any say in this, only the person, couple in question.

So regardless if it is a celebration or a societal expectation, traditions can be an important part of life as long as they serve the people, as long as they are safe, human and are still carrying value.
When it is not the case, then traditions, traditional thinking needs to be looked at and decided whether partially need to be rethought, or maybe even fully just let go of.

From the past we must learn but must not drag it along for the disadvantage of the present.

Everything is energy

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Everything is energy.
It is science, it is fact.

It was expressed by Nikola Tesla as well as Albert Einstein and when it comes to science, they are kinda reliable sources 😉

On many different level spirituality is speaking about energy too.
Like right now a very intense happening is on; from the 26th of July till the 12th of August there is a strong energy movement, and its peak is today, the 8th of August, the pinnacle of the opening of the Lion’s Gate portal.
(When interested in details, he explains it well, I think https://www.facebook.com/ArcturianCodes )

Everything is energy, so it means so is nature, us, and every connection we have are also energetically charged, have a vibration.

Surely you heard of people (if you are not one of them) who are affected by the moon’s cycles, like their sleep is messed up at every full moon, or those who claim all their worries and wrinkles smooth out as soon as they are by the sea, or those who love walking in the rain as that always makes them feel better.

When it comes to people, again, you surely heard of, or might personally came across some after meeting with whom you always feel drained, or the exact opposite, happy and recharged, or when with them, you feel some unexplainable nervousness and so on.

We are influenced by energy coming from nature, animals, from other people and we are influencing others with our energies too, of course

Whenever you are experiencing any issues, arguments, negativity towards you, one thing you can do is to check your own energy.
What are you radiating?
Can that be a reflection of yours, coming back to you?
Maybe you need to shift a bit towards a calmer, more positive state.

No, I am not suggesting ‘hurray-optimism’, no I am not suggesting denying any real, own feelings and energies.

What I am suggesting is to check in with yourself if what you are radiating in that moment is really yours or you might have picked it up from somebody/something else and you are rolling with that.

Like when you are cranky, negative, angry, is it really because you are feeling so, or is that ‘stuck’ on you from a previous interaction and now you are coming from that energy and so are messing some more up around you.

You see, it is like a rolling ball.

When can go out into the world with a light, happy, calm energy, likely that people you come in contact with will be feeding from your positive energy, you will be meeting others on a similar energy level as you are on, or even on a higher one.

When, on the other hand, you realize that whatever good mood you are in, certain people always bring you down … well, the simple cure for that is to avoid contact with such people.

Yes, if you are in a close, meaningful relation to such a person, you always can invite them to talk, ask what is going on in their head, in their soul. They might will be gladly jumping on the opportunity and share with you what is their story, but it is also possible they are not even aware of them being such a dark cloud.

When in a relationship, it pays off being aware of self too.

It does make life more easy, it makes it more authentic and more smooth of a ride.

When you connect, communicate, love, have sex while you are radiating your own energies, your own feelings, your real self, it all gets on a higher level of amazing.

By all means on every level it worth the work having your energies cleaned, of being aware, of knowing of and protecting your high vibrating, light energy.

Be kind, keep on loving, vibe high!

People of the Internet

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‘He got hot and cold from the people of the Internet’ – was a sentence in an article I read yesterday.

It is astonishing to me how with this wording it becomes an entity, independent from us.
And unless I missed the note that there is another race such as ‘Internet people’ living on Earth, and they are other than people people, than the reality must be that ‘the people of the Internet’ are us!
All of us, the people who post, ask, comment, rate, buy, sell, use the Internet.
And that means that all the nice and all the ugly comes from us.

All is good as long as it is nice, fun and/or supportive.
But!
The issue already starts here.

Since people are different, have different morals (or none at all), come from different cultural backgrounds, have different understanding of the world, already fun and supportive have plenty of different interpretations.

For example, pranks are big nowadays.
Thousands of videos are up on the net with different ones, and some became trends, meaning someone did one which they filmed, put it up on the Internet and others started to copy it and showing their version of it.
All that means that there are many people who like this, like to watch it, like taking part in it, who consider it as fun.

On the other hand, there are many who don’t like pranks.
The logical and simple solution would be for those people not to watch them.
And of course, many does exactly that.
However, there are those who don’t like pranks yet still watch them and feel the need to comment something not nice or even nasty.

As for being supportive, the same applies as above.
Of course, again there are the genuinely supportive comments.

Unfortunately another category is when the commenter might feel it is support but in reality, they only belittle, hurt the poster of the original content.
Surely, you’ve seen some of these, like someone says they have a headache, nothing seems to help, and a person reacts like no worries, it will go, be happy it is only a headache and nothing serious.
That is not support!

The Internet is full of people who seemingly have nothing better to do than posting their opinion in every and all situations.
You know, like someone celebrates their weight loss and those bitter bums write ‘who cares’ or ‘yeah, nice photoshop’ or ‘is not the same person’.
Or someone writes they got a promotion and are happy about it. Comes bitter bum saying ‘show off’ while the other bitter bum writes ‘yeah, aren’t you too old for this position, shouldn’t you have been there years ago?’.
Or one says it seems to be difficult to maintain a happy relationship. Bitter bum comments ‘be happy you have one’, or ‘who cares’, or ‘well, if you can’t maintain it, maybe you shouldn’t have it’.
Or someone started gardening and are posting photos of their progress in their garden. Yes, bitter bum will be quick to comment like ‘well, not much to show off, is there’, or ‘yeah, good try but you should plant so and so instead that and should grow that taller and the other should be trimmed better’, or ‘ah, well, anyway, here look at my photos’.

You get the idea, don’t you’!?

Whatever you do, create, show on the Internet, you must know there always be those bitter bums who will try to pull you down, humiliate you, try to overshadow you and some of them will even be plain ugly.
All will have advice for you, regardless if you asked for it or not.
And they will be contradicting!

Bitter bums are people who you have no idea who they are.
Exactly the same as is with society.
The expression ‘people of the Internet’ and the word ‘society’ are both referring to masses of people who you have no idea who they are, and they have no idea, and don’t even care who you are.
Some of the ‘bb’s are not even ready to show themselves, are only a faceless ‘ghost’ on the Internet.

These commenting, advising bitter bums mustn’t interest you at all.
They are people who have shallow lives, not much they can show as achievements, they are narrow minded, have no guts to sort themselves, their lives out, so all they do is attack and blame others.
Do not pay attention to them.
You do not need their, nor anyone’s approval to be you.

When you want to show off some of your achievements, whatever it may be, anything that is important to you, just do it!

The ’people of the Internet’ have no idea who you are, what wars you are fighting, what life you are living.
They have no right to criticize you in any way.

To protect yourself from these negative vibes, when you have some questions in regards of anything, don’t ask them, but find an expert you trust and ask that person.

Be you, be kind and be selective who do you listen to!

The power of choice

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One always has the choice between saying the truth or lie.
Whatever you decide to say in any given situation, has consequences.
Sometimes those will affect only you, sometimes a few and sometimes many people.
The responsibility though is fully yours.

When you are losing people while being honest, voicing your truth then those were not your people to begin with.
When you are gaining a circle while lying, then you are building on swampy ground and for sure will come the time when it all falls down and buries you under the ruins.
Not a pretty face, not a hefty bank account, no parents, no lawyers, no friends, nothing and no one will save you from it.
The truth always finds a way to surface.

Yes, all this came to mind as I saw some bits and pieces of a recent court case.

And then along these lines …
It might be an unpopular opinion (don’t care), but I am sick and tired seeing, hearing stories, situations, working with people who suffered of, are suffering such ‘societal’ bonkers.

Meaning: certain traits got associated with and claimed to be done by men or done by women.
In the fight for equality among the sexes, to stop sexual abuse, somehow from one side of the horse we are falling over to the other side.
Seemingly people have serious difficulties sitting on the back of it, finding balance.

Yes, there are men who believe women are less of a species than them.
Yes, they behave as complete assholes, talk down on women, are mansplaining life to women, have the belief that sex with a woman is their, and only their decision of when and how, who think that women need their permission for everything and so on.

In this out of balance society though it is not recognized? or not believed? that there are women who are exactly on the same way towards men, who are real nasty bitches, only thinking of men as cash machines, who play men, who use men to advance their own lives, who use sex as a mean of getting what they want, who can lose their shit completely when a man is not fully following their demands.

The reality is that regardless of gender, a person is either decent or not.
Either a good human being or not.
Being hysterical, entitled, power hungry, pathological liar, abuser, a nuisance, letting out bad vibes, being simply repulsive can be just as much a man as a woman.
It is not the gender, it is the personality.

Sure, you can disagree with me, deny all the above, you can come with ‘yeah, but more men are like this, and more women are like that’ or whatever not.
None of it is changing what I am experiencing, seeing, and working with.
This is my truth.

The life of us all, and so the world, would be a much better place if we were accepting each other as equals regardless of gender, skin colour, religion, sexual preferences, financial state or whatever, and would clean up our intentions towards one another.

Wherever on this journey of life you are at, as long as you have a pulse, it is never too late to recognise you can get better at whatever and go for it.

At the end of this experience, called life we ALL end up as dust.
Nobody will be spared from the end, no power, no belief, no money will matter in that.
The only difference is, that in some cases we just sigh and say ‘finally’ and in other cases we say ‘what a loss’.

So!
Yes or no.
Lie or not.
Asshole or not.
Decent or not.
Accept or not.
Love or not.
…
All is a choice.

Throughout life it is always a choice.
Everything is a choice.
It is your life and that means your choice.
Grab and live with this power.
Own it!

Partners or/and parents

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A couple of days ago I attended a business get together.
The initial aim was networking and helping each other forward.
After some who is who, the discussions soon turned away from the original subjects and became one about relationships, more precisely about whether it is possible to keep a partnership alive and thriving when having kids or a drifting away, even divorce is inevitable.

The whole change of subject started by the introduction of one of the ladies, when she said she is just about reinventing herself, starting a small business all by herself after being married for 28 years and divorced for 1.
The kids grew up, she explained, flew out of the nest and she and her husband realized they had not much left in between them apart from living under the same roof as two somewhat distanced friends.
Also, she found herself ‘useless’, not knowing what to do with herself, as for the last 25 years of her marriage, her life was the family, was the raising of the kids.
Hence now the reinvention of herself.

Hmmm, the infamous ‘empty nest’ syndrome.

Unfortunately, many parents fall into the ‘trap’ of functioning almost exclusively as a parent from the time a child is born.

Naturally, a mother/father loves their seedling and wants to do everything for their well-being, but when it becomes exclusive and the relationship between the adults is not nurtured but everything revolves around the child – eat only what the child loves, adjust everything around the kid, family programs are dictated by the child’s interest, and so on – then it’s no wonder that the relationship is flattening out.

Instead of ‘fitting’ the child into the life of the parents, they change their life around nearly completely to accommodate every vibe of the child.

Of course, a child, regardless of age, will always remain a child to the parents, but it is important to note that in a healthy line-up the moment comes when the child begins to live their own life, starts to ‘peel off’ of the parents, gets onto their own path.
So, the child is a ‘transitional state’ in a long term relationship, and the relationship itself is the permanent element.

When it is not recognized and the focus fades off of the relationship of the parents, when their conversations become all about the kid(s), when they often are tired for each other, when intimacy and sex become a distant memory, when the ‘just the two of us’ times cease to exist, this is when the partnership starts to corrode.
Because a relationship does not deteriorate after x years, but steadily declines, flattens and at a certain point it gets realized that it is ‘broken’.

To avoid the melting away of a once loving relationship, it is essential that it is continuously nurtured, revitalized, worked on, so that it remains balanced, happy, and lasting.

Not to mention that the child also develops better, feels happier, gets more open to the world among balanced, happy parents, so it is important not only for mum and dad but also for the child that parents have time for themselves and each other.

It does not have to be anything super complicated.
Once a week, at least once every two weeks, take time, a few hours, for yourselves!
An only the two of you evening with a dinner out, a cinema, a theatre, a couple of drinks with friends, or staying in while the kid(s) are with the grandparents and enjoy a lazy, cuddling time, some form of intimacy, sex, a conversation when your full attention is on each other, anything that is about the two of you, that makes you connect with each other can work wonders in maintaining, reinforcing, keeping your relationship alive and happy.

Also, some time for yourself is also essential.
Everyone must find time to keep their body and soul in harmony.
Recharging, realigning means something different to everyone, it can be anything from a long bath to a good book, a lonely walk, some sport, hobby, anything, where the need to get/keep yourself in your best form, whatever that may mean to you, gets served.
Remember, you can give the best and most of yourself, when you are well, when you feel good in your own skin, when you are well both mentally and physically.

And yes, I hear the choir ‘but time’ and ‘but this’ and ‘but that’.

Against all outdated, nasty, downright stupid ‘societal’ and ‘Internet wise’ traditions, rules or whatnot, healthy selfishness is mandatory and can be learned!

One cannot afford to become a negligible, last in the line aspect.
It only hurts yourself and through this hurts your family.
Pretty counterproductive, right!?!

In any happy, balanced, healthy relationship it is true that you get as much time, care, love from the other person, as much you put in.
So think this over and adjust your priorities if you feel the need to do so.
It’s never too late to get, feel, live better!

Living in the now

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What do we all have for sure?
The moment we are in.

I know!
You heard it a million times already; but have you ever given a real thought to it?
And I don’t mean any spiritual, superstitious, metaphysical way but the very real, very human, very down to earth way.

Like, let’s say, you are in a relationship, you had a disagreement/argument two days ago. You did not talk it out, you did not talk it through, you did not express what and why was hurtful, unpleasant to you.
Today, now, something triggered something in you, and it brings up that unsolved issue  from two days ago.
So now you bitterly attack your partner, though what happening now is a tiny thing and under normal circumstances you might would not even notice it.
But because of that undiscussed/ unresolved something from the past (2 days, 3 months, 9 years ago) you are actively screwing up your present with something, that is not even directly related.

This is true for any kind of situations, in every kind of a relationship.

Like, at work your colleague asks you to help her/him with a task, you say yes and end up doing it all by yourself on top of your own tasks.
Do you say something then and there or are you letting it boil within you and next time or the one after that, you simply blow up as that last little thing in the now is making it all overflow?

Or you are doing something nice to someone (a favour, a gesture, some kind of a help) and the other person is not acknowledging it at all.
Do you say something right in that situation or you let the bitterness of non-appreciation build in you?
Next time in a similar situation, do you say something? Would you be pointing back to what happened earlier and with your grown bad feelings react probably way stronger than the present situation would call for, or simply just get mad and throw it all at them?

Surely you know what I am talking about, you must have had at least a few occasions when something similar happened, when you let earlier events affect the now.
The last drop effect – how many times did you say: it’s enough, it was the last drop!

The universal truth is, we can’t go back in time to alter any situation, to sort any shit out then and there, because all we have, is the NOW.

This leaves you with two options:
the easiest and most harmful is to keep fucking up this, and all the coming nows with any unattended crap from the past. Choosing this guarantees that you rob yourself from more happy, balanced, peaceful times.
The other option is that you decide and do draw a line now, start working on yourself to be able to let the past go as you understand that you have no way to change it, and while doing so, you consciously stay in the NOW as much as you can and stop collecting further issues that you grow into more unresolved matters with what you keep screwing things up.

When you choose the second option, soon you will realise your relationships getting smoother, your self-confidence rising, your communication clearing up, you experiencing more positive feelings as you will not chew on old hurts and you will see, recognise more bright, happy things in your surroundings.

The benefits of being and staying in the NOW, I believe, worth all the self-cleaning work, all the letting go.
Choose wisely.

Go for it with all you’ve got … BUT!

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Do you have any dreams, goals, resolutions you want to have, reach, do?
Being the beginning of a new year, it feels timely to write about this now, as many often wait for a new year to start to set goals, make resolutions and/or to outline a way towards their dreams.

As always, yes, I know, we all are different and behave differently, do things differently, understand things differently.
This is about a general, can happen to anyone kind of feeling, regardless how you categorize (dream, goal, resolution, whatever) the bases of it for yourself.
Like for example I, for one, don’t like/use the word ‘goals’ as somehow I immediately associate it to sports and as such it already carries 50% of a chance of failing/not making it for me.
Dreams on the other hand I did and do have.

So, regardless of how you call it, in which category you put it, I guess you have one/some/more things you want to reach/build/have for yourself in this life.
Also I am sure, you did come across some of these motivational sayings: ‘don’t give up’, ‘never give up’, ‘follow your dreams’, ‘you are nearly there’, ‘the break through is just around the corner’, ‘it is always the darkest right before dawn’ and alike.

Along these lines we can hear too that don’t have a plan B as that would take the wind out from plan A because when you do, you’ll know there is always that plan B you can fall back onto and that would make you comfortable.

My question is, have you ever felt trapped by a dream, goal, resolution you had/have?
I have.
And I can tell you, it felt shit, frightening, hopeless and was taking a lot out of me to survive it, to move forward from there.

Once that dream of mine was born, I put in all I could think of would help me make it come true.
Just like you do when you really want to get somewhere, achieve something.
Studied, worked my ass off, found many different options and took countless opportunities that sounded inline with my reaching that dream. Also, it required tons of work on myself, had to go in deep, dig out crap, sort out my inner game such as limiting beliefs, screwed up patterns and basically getting out of my own way.
Not to forget, I spent a shitload of money for all before mentioned.

All the while I kept chanting to myself those affirmations, motivational quotes and was keeping at it … so much so that I got myself financially broke, mentally exhausted, emotionally wrecked.

What happened? How did it happen? Why did it happen?
Not for one minute had I a plan B.
Not for one minute did I a reality check.

All I had was a dream that I felt completely aligned with, that seemed the most natural, the best and the only way to go.
In spite my feelings, I got to the point where I was forced to change course.
It was a huge fight within myself as every cell of mine was against it, plus every time when I forced myself to decide for taking that step, I immediately run into, seen, heard something that I translated as a sign to not to do so.
It was a huge, painful, soul eating mess.

Finally I had to let go of that tight grip, go on another way, dig myself out of that dark place and realize (in retrospective, some years later) that it was the best way how it all could work out for the best.

Now for doing some good to some, I must say, I strongly suggest that at the beginning of your dream chasing, goal reaching, holding to a resolution: do prepare a plan B, write it down and put it somewhere safe and only thereafter go and concentrate on turning your dreams into reality.
In case in the process you find yourself over your reasonable timeline or money options, or at the edge of your sanity, or you feel your emotional wellbeing at risk, get your plan B out and go with that, for the time being at least!

True, it is always better to try and don’t reach than never try.
Also true that there are second (even third, fourth …) chances in life.

My conclusion is that it is best to have a plan B and change to it in case of need than ending up in an excessive, exhausting chaos, that brings you in to a dire, suffocating nightmare.

Be good to yourself!
Don’t get ruined in chasing the perfect dream, don’t get eaten alive in fighting to score goals but realise in time that reality, life as it is, is always better, even if it is not always perfect.

End and beginning, old and new

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Coming close to the end of a not so easy year.
Whatever you believe, to whomever you believe, how many (un)answered questions you might have, whatever you decided on, however many conversations you heard, took part in, however much you feared or cried, how much you (didn’t) care, however you went through this past year, I guess you are tired.

Now that the holiday season is here, I think it is important that you remind yourself: you need to take care of yourself first!
You know, even in the airplane safety demo they say put on your own oxygen mask first, or that you can’t give from an empty pantry, or … you get the picture.

So, if Christmas (or whatever holiday for this matter) is your thing, then go for it, go crazy about it, enjoy it.
If not, then don’t force yourself to indulge in it.
If cooking, baking, enjoying feasts is your thing, dive in.
If not, then go for that toast and butter you love.
If family and friends are who you want to spend time with, do it.
If you rather keep to yourself, do that.

Nothing about any holiday is a compulsory act!
Do as you wish or at least do as it suit you best in your given circumstances.

Also, when you will be meeting and spending time with family members, acquaintances, people in general with whom you are not spending much time together throughout the year, be sure to carefully navigate the stormy waters of communication.
The chances of misunderstandings can easily skyrocket.
For the sake of a peaceful, fun time, it worth to ignore certain subjects.
Or at least do not jump into conclusions and don’t start fights.
Ask, answer clearly, explain if needed.
Nobody’s opinion is holy. Just an opinion. And as such, some might see it as right and some might perceive it as wrong.

Let’s get ready to close a turbulent year that had some pretty heavy energies, pain, some crazy stories.

Let’s promise to ourselves, and keep to it, that we will do better next year.
That we will listen more.
We will try understanding more.
We will be open more.
That we will include more.
Forgive more.
Care more.
That we will show more compassion.
Will open our hearts more.
That we will love more – ourselves and others.

That we will let everyone be.

Merry Everything and a Healthy and Happy Always to You!

Becoming fully yourself

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Women.
Men.
Roles.
Habits.
You can.
You can’t.
You are allowed to.
You are not allowed to.
You do it and you are praised for it.
You do it and you are told it’s not for you.
You should.
You shouldn’t.
Although you are already doing it some tells you, you are not able to do it.

Like having long hair and liking when someone plays with it; crying; showing emotions; getting flowers; sitting down on the toilet; dancing; working as an auto mechanic; wearing colours; skincare; using purses; brewing beer; using make up; sewing; knitting; enjoying sweet drinks; hugging; enjoying and being good at DIY; being the little spoon; crocheting; boxing; being asked out; manicure, pedicure; being complimented; initiating sex; using hand cream; having a long, pampering bath; using candles; receiving chocolate; staying at home with your child for whatever reason; smoking a cigar; … the list is endless.

When you find yourself being hung up on any of these ideas being exclusively for women or exclusively for men, then I suggest you seriously have some time with yourself and check in what makes you believe what you believe.
Likely you never even thought this through for yourself, just took what your surrounding was telling, projecting, showing, pressuring.
So, it is high time you do the thinking and deciding for yourself.

In case you are someone who’s been affected by any of the statements I listed at the beginning of this post or any other along those lines, and by them found yourself discouraged, talked down on, belittled, hurt, confused, you must learn to ignore any of such statement.
Regardless, who says them.

You are allowed to be you. You are encouraged to live the full version of yourself. Your life is yours to construct.
When it is about you, others only can say their opinions which you already can choose not to listen to, but have no right to deny, forbid or restrict you in your own choices. Unless you consent to it.

There are more and more people in the world who realise that life has as many shapes and form as many of us are walking on Earth.
No two identical version of a human being exists or ever existed.
Find your crowd, find your crazy, choose supporting environments.

Get clear on who and how you want to be, allow yourself to become fully you, claim yourself, claim how you want to feel, create yourself as you want to be.

Learn the art of to live and let live!
Enjoy life

Clearing the fog around Help

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When we are babies we accept help from parents, grandparents, siblings.
Of course, no baby would survive without being fed, sheltered, protected.
Also no one would learn any life skills if adults wouldn’t show, teach, tell them.
It is all natural.

When we grow a bit but are still kids, we go through a stage when we don’t want to take any help, we want to show we can do that thing or another all by ourselves.
We are proud to show off that we can tie our shoelace, or that we can draw, or dress ourselves up.

That stage usually goes parallel with still accepting, even asking for help in other things, that we didn’t learn yet or we are uncertain with them.

Then we get to school and there for sure starts a negative spin … ‘don’t ask for help, you can do it by yourself’, ‘do it alone’, ‘this is not a team project’, ‘don’t help, s/he needs to learn it’.
All with the ‘good’ intention to become your own person, don’t rely on help, don’t bother others.

Once in a work environment, it continues by getting ridiculed (how can you have this job if you don’t know this), not getting a promotion (you are not independent enough), get rejected (it’s not my job to help you) for asking for help.

Unfortunately, in many people all these conditioning get to the point that they grow afraid to ask for help, they get ashamed when they feel they could do with some help.
It will affect one’s all life areas, as the brain won’t separate that asking for help in work is a no go but asking for help in a relationship situation is okay.
And so, another rabbit hole is created, in which one can get lost, can go down so deep that ruins her/his life for years, decades, a lifetime.

To have a healthy, balanced, happy life, we must start by unlearning all the conditioning we were put through in our growing up and young adulthood.

Asking for help, when in need for whatever reason, is okay, is allowed, is the best what one can do.

To meaningfully help someone when they need it, is an amazing feeling.

Help is not something to be forced onto someone or do regardless, as help only really works when is asked for, and is delivered with an honest, no agenda attitude.

Don’t believe otherwise, help is available, help is around you.
Work up the courage and ask for it!
Give yourself the chance to breeze, to let the stress go, to get an outside vantage point from where you see your situation clearly and can find a solution and so move forward to a better, happier, more balanced self and life.